JUST SAYIN THANKS...

This will be the last entry I post for the year so I’m going to take the time and give thanks and dish credit where it's due. This year has been bitter sweet in many aspects of life. I have been blessed by the Lord to live to see another year, but the unfortunate truth is that many have not. We have experienced losing loved ones, those who lost what they’ve worked for, displaced people, an unresponsive government, natural disasters, etc. However at the same time I also saw the good in many people, including myself. It was tough, and still is, but it does good to the heart to see that among the bad and unfortunate news there were also counts of people opening their hearts, pockets, and homes to help those less fortunate. In my own personal world I made some improvements to self. I have resumed my coursework towards my degree this year after a 4 year break from college. I have been able to look past people’s mistakes and ingest them as a learning lesson. I was introduced to blogging that consequently motivated me to continue a forgotten hobby in writing. Best of all, I finally made amends with my estranged family that I lost contact with in over 4 years, and it was the best way to start the up and coming year. Never would I have thought that I would have all these blessings come my way over the course of these past 12 months, and it is quite evident there is only one Man, Creator, Savior, to thank for. THANK YOU for allowing me to spend the Christmas holiday with my beautiful niece and nephew and family only You know I have missed for so long. THANK YOU for allowing me to see past the evil and hurt that attempted to block my vision this year. THANK YOU so very much.

I would also like to start 2006 by getting some ish off my chest while I’m out here. First off this blog experience has been amazing in so many aspects. What a feeling it was to discover there are other men and women on this earth who are faced with the same day to day issues as I. I can’t even remember how I was first turned on to blogging, but I do remember reading through different people’s thoughts and experiences and thinking-this is what I have been looking for all along. For years I would write material only to share it with “jump offs” or other kats, bootie calls, who were not interested in it at all. I would share a piece I had wrote or some passionate poetry, and all I can read in their eyes in a blank STARE was “when are you going to just shut up and fuck me”.

Through this blog not only can I keep a journal for myself but I can also share my talent with those from people from all over the place. Everyone’s blog is so unique and original in its own respect. SoI have finally put up what I call a Peoples Corner. I was tired of just browsing my way through others blogs and I wanted easy access to blogs of interest (in no particular order). There are many people whose lives I find not only interesting but also motivating, so if you’re on there it's for a good reason. Of course I will be adding more to the mix, this is just what I have come up with so far. I expect to meet many more inspiring individuals through my blogging experience and I hope my own thoughts and accounts can motivate others going through a similar time in their life. There may be some occassions where I might post something that might be taken offensive or out of context, please do not take it personal. I found that blogging came more at ease for me when I started to realize the material on here is for my own self. Not to impress some of you sexy men and women I have discovered through others links/comments, but to provide some type of “breadcrumb” trail to my journey into adulthood. Everyday I am faced with issues that test my faith and man hood, and I believe part of the growing process is the importance of being able to look back; not to dwell in it but to learn from the experience. With that being said, there is a special shout out I’m sending to all the bloggers that have inspired me to continue to work on my writing skills as a hobby. THANK YOU for giving me an outlet out of A4A, M4N, BP, etc. Thank you for reading and providing feedback on my writing, instead of revealing that blank STARE I was running from for quite a while.

Have a safe and Blessed New Year

Family Matters

I have safely returned from my short trip to California however a whole lot has been going on in the world of soforeal. How about last Friday night my flight ended in Ontario, CA at around 11:10pm which makes it 2:10am ATL time. So you know I was tired. But why did America West lose my luggage? I was so heated. And I wasn’t the only one with lost luggage, there were about 10 other passengers from ATL whose luggage they had lost as well. So I filled out some baggage claim form but to sum it up my bag was not delivered to my brother’s house until late Sunday afternoon so I spent all weekend without my clothes. We left Saturday morning to San Diego so I had to go and buy brand new clothing. I’m talking about shirts, jeans right down to my socks and drawers. It was real inconvenient. However my lost luggage could not damper the feeling I had when my 4 year old niece instantly recognized who I was at the airport gate. The last time I had seen her she was JUST born, maybe about 6 or 7 months old. So for her to instantly recognize her estranged uncle was one of the best feelings I had all weekend. Spending time with my nephew and brother made it all better as well. Why does my six year old nephew know most of the words to Franchize Boys and 50 cent? And why was he hollarin out “shawtee” to some overgrown woman at the mall on Saturday? LOL The little man is a riot.

We finally got to my sister’s house in San Diego late Saturday afternoon after taking care of some business with my brother. My grandmother cooked a traditional Cuban dinner man I missed that food so much. After dinner we exchanged gifts. The best part was watching my nephew and niece open their presents. My nephew’s favorite was a PSP my brother got him and my niece’s favorite was a doll and some wig and microphone set that came with it. She did ask the grown folks if we can ask Santa to bring her more toys than clothes next year. Can you believe her? We took a million pictures of them and then took our butts to bed that night.

The issue I have now is that my family is trying to convince me to move back to California. I had distanced myself for some time but now that I have made good with them I am reconsidering their suggestion. It’s not only because I am getting tired of holding my tongue out on SO and it’s not only because I feel like I’m at a dead end job. I have some business I left behind in CA that is very important and needs to be handled as soon as possible or else my ass will end up in jail again. So, the situation is that I’m here in ATL, and I can address those issues from home however it will take quite a while. Another year or so? I have been trying to patch it up for about 2 years now, and it seems like I will get better results if I just face these issues and address them the proper way in CA how I’m supposed to. However I’m thinking do I have anything worth staying for in ATL? I have my feelings for SO but its obvious we are not anywhere near a relationship. I have absolutely no family here in ATL and if I went back to CA, it’s a possibility that I come back to ATL if need be, but it’s likely that I won’t. Only because my mother and sister are doing real good with the mortgage business over there and if it works out for me, I might stay longer than expected. So, what does a man like me do? All I have in ATL are countless bootie calls and hopes that SO and I will be something more than just friends. So I have the obvious right in front of my face, but I also have a home, job and car I worked so hard for in this tired city that I can’t seem to give up that easy. I don’t know what it is but as soon as I returned Monday night I started to realize that SO and our live in situation is not such a hot idea. I don’t know how much longer I can tolerate this invasion of privacy in exchange for a mere inkling of hope that one day I can give up fucking everyone else and someday make a commitment. Because of the issues I have to take care of in CA, am I, myself, ready for a relationship? How can I expect something from someone when I am not sure if I can give it myself?
Anyway I try not to make this too lengthy but I have a whole lot on my mind lately and I feel a change is coming for the 06.

***Pic above from left to right: sis, niece, nephew

DisStilled

As I lay in this still
sheer satisfaction
lookin out my private window sill
I filled you in these sheets, I breathed you
Still
you’re gone now
not that long now
but now alone
makes no damn sense
this detriment…
no sex now, some sweat now
trickin down my heavy brow
I held
my large endow-
ment
still stiff, rock hard
from the still of last nite
stroking your insides way deep
U felt out of sight
but still I see
In the still
I taste you, and spread
legs... all up on my bed
abysmal kisses instead
deep in you, licking in you
slowly kissin inside ur thighs
this finger stroke remix reprise
against the wall we fuck
something you can feel
ache in pleasure and pain surreal
you felt my dick was soforeal
like Cola I got the real
Thing
Jagged big thrill
like something
like a pill
so wrong but so right
I want you still

Pic Yo Afro Mami...

Tomorrow I leave for California and I couldn’t be any more excited. However, can someone please explain to me why the TSA waits until the holiday rush to lift restrictions on small scissors and tools aboard flights? I’m wondering why they didn’t wait until at least January or February when the holidays are over. Dam near 300 thousand people will be in and out of ATL’s Hartfield airport, so I’m planning on getting there extremely early. Alright in NY there is a mass transit strike going on forcing millions of people to travel on foot in near freezing temperatures. Man its way too cold for the MTA to be trippin like this. However, I understand that there are both sides. I can see the frustration in their need to have to unite and strike, sometimes it takes extreme measures such as these to get a voice heard. It is unfortunate others have to suffer while this is going on. I think that the mass group of transit employees must have friends and relatives who also ride public transportation, so I’m thinking the city employees probably don’t want this inconvenience to continue any longer than it should. I parked my car today at the train station and walked a half a mile to work in 27 degree weather and it was NOT a pleasant walk. I could not even imagine having to walk miles and miles into work, so I hope and pray that a resolution is soon to come.

On a brigher note, MJB released The Breakthrough on December 20. I heard on a radio interview how she commented on the RNB newbie chicks in the game. She makes a comment on how she has always been more than music, and how she never had a chance to hide her pain and troubles from the public as those other chicks attempted to do. She went from drugs, to abuse, low self esteem, etc all in the public eye. In a way I feel I went through the fire with Mary because I also had issues with drugs and alcohol not too long ago. I do party ever so often but not to the extreme as before. A few years ago it was real bad to the point where I was letting it ruin my life. I grew in the streets of Miami when the rave scene used to be hype, none of this mainstream “candy kids”, lollipop and pacifier junkie kids, but the underground hip hop and breakdance parties. I’ve experimented with the most extreme of party drugs. To be honest, I’m at a point where I’m grateful to even be alive. I know the joy Mary feels in her soul knowing that she has gotten rid of those evil spirits because I feel it the same. I thank her and other role modes for the inspiration. I hope others that are going through it right now can turn to positive role models as well and learn from others experiences and mistakes. I am so glad Mary has gotten herself together, as she really is a true music icon for our generation. Jamie Foxx and the BIG collabo album also came out this week.

I might take some pics while I’m out on the Westside and share with the blogworld. I’m real excited that I reunited with my family at this time of year. I can hardly wait to see my niece and nephew and how much they’ve grown. I know time will fly real fast because I won’t be able to stay as long, so I’m going to make sure I make the best of every minute I’m over there. So tonight, I’m off to see one of my favorite men in the ATL, my barber. I’ve been holding out till right before I leave tomorrow, so I’ve been looking kinda ruff lately. LOL. The females at work be like "we’re not used to seeing you unshaved, when you gonna get ur haircut, dam u lookn ruff brotha, need a shave?", and all this and that. I’m responding in my head to myself like no one makes any comments on yall when yall be coming in to work with your weave half done, scalp revealing micros, or wig ‘FLAT ON ONE SIDE' LOL. I’m also looking forward to some last minute packing. Of course tonight I’m going to have to lay the pipe real good on SO before I leave to make sure I stay on his mind while I’m gone (grins).

What's Goin On

Friday was a regular day at work, I scooped up SO at his job and went to catch King Kong at the theaters down the street from the house. The movie had great special effects and the acting was good it was just entirely too dam long. It was twice as long as the usual hour and a half movies that have become all too common. Well, at least it kept my attention I really could have sat there and slept after the first hour as tired as I was.

Saturday I took care of some Christmas shopping I had to do for my niece and nephew in CA. Now that I will actually be there, I will be able to get them more stuff my only issue right now is how I’m going to get them on the airplane. It’s not only the luggage that has me worried, it’s also the fact that it will be a flight during the holiday rush, so I’m expecting for it to be very busy at the airports. Also, my nerves get all out of wack when I’m on an airplane so I’m planning on taking some special candy for this trip to knock me the f out. Lol. After the shopping I stopped at blockbuster and rented Mr and Mrs Smith for the 3rd time. What is the deal with this movie? I’ve rented it twice before and the first time I went out of town and left the movie home, so by the time I got back, it was ready for it to go back to bb. Then the second time I could not stay awake all the way through for the life of me, but then again at that time I WAS also getting over a cold so I gave it the benefit of the doubt this third time. Another snoozer. This time I am well and not under any cough medicine so now I KNOW it’s the movie. NOT good.

I got a chance to listen on MJB’s the Breakthrough I think Mary really did it this time. She has a couple of hot tracks on there and the last track, One, which is a duet with Bono, is also hot. That woman has a classic voice that no one can match. They are promoting the shit out this album. At the movie theaters, someone had put up fliers with the album cover and release date in the parking lot. MTV has it on their commercial run because they have it on “The Leak” and you can hear it on their site. She even went off on Mimi Valdes at the Vibe Awards and that was also like, a gateway to read Mimi’s response on the issue who has, guess who, Mary on the cover pushin the Breakthrough. I’m not even mad at her it just makes me love her more but I hope other people are not getting a Mary overdose.

Speaking of Mary overdoses, I am considering giving up the Phillies for 2006. As a New Year’s resolution. Also to eat more healthy and maybe get in the gym more, in exchange for Mary. I have been juggling both for a while, but I know personally I would be more satisfied with my shape if I got it together and focused more on being fit. I’m also going to be more strict with my time management and financial habits. So far this is what I’ve come up with.

One of my real good friends birthday was Saturday. We will call him Doc for now. Doc lives in FL and we have a real interesting relationship. When we met, he was living in ATL and had a man but he was trying to get me involved in the relationship. Doc is tall masculine and dark skinned like I like them. He is really feeling the latino lite skinned brotha in me and things were real hot between he and I for a while but it was just THAT, he and I. No other lover involved. We will call him Bee for now. I was curious and met Bee a few months after I met Doc. Bee was an older kat. He was dark skinned as well but I really could not see myself getting hot over him. To be honest the man was feelin me but it was just as I suspected, he was real sprung over Doc to the point where Doc was real taken care of, and would hate to see Doc leave him over the likes of me. In his eyes, I was the man sleeping with his man and I really don’t think he would have found the notion any more exciting if he were a participant. Not only that, but I was quickly discovering that I myself could not be a participant because I was not real comfortable with the way Bee handled his business. It was some drama this time 2 years ago with these characters man but to make a long story short, Bee and I never found a way to get into each other and Doc and I just kept our friendship to ourselves. Doc is a trip and I’m so glad we became friends because I can appreciate him so much more. I can’t give up TMI too early on Doc, but right now he is not involved with Bee anymore and has moved to Florida. I haven’t seen him in almost a year and we are trying to make plans to see each other soon. He called on Friday and left a message while I was in the movies. So I called him yesterday and he wasn’t home. He’s a mess.

Another character in the mix is my PR brotha Jersey. Jersey lives in Phillie but I’m planning on recruiting him to my personal space soon enuff too. This was one kat I met over the internet and we talked for quite a while before he came to ATL and visit Labor Day weekend. The convo was hot but not as hot as when he finally came to my apartment for a visit. I was really kicking myself because that whole weekend I was so caught up with the other fans that I had missed out on the real prize that was texting me from the telly down the street from my apt the whole weekend. I was just on my own schedule and didn’t really have time to see him until later that week before he left back home. It was obvious how strong of a chemistry there was between us. This was strange because I don’t really get excited over my latino brothas. Even though he is mixed with black his features are more latino than black so this is not common for me. Needless to say this is someone else who will surface in the 06 and I’m really looking forward to an encore.

I can vent some more but I know I got more closets than Kelly. I will spare the details for rite now just know this is whats goin on in the world of soforeal.

S.O. Amazing

My SO did something amazing last night. We were talking on the phone and I was just going off about going to CA and how long it’s been since I’ve been there and how excited I am and blah blah blah. I was a bit lifted so I know I was really feeling myself in the convo but then all of the sudden he cuts me off. But not in a bad way. He was like he could tell in my voice how more at peace I was with myself now that I have made contact with my family after 4 years. He said he was hoping I would have soon enough because he felt I really needed to be more involved with my famiy. This man never ceases to amaze me because I was thinking the same thing. Only I felt it right after I got off the phone with my mother on Saturday. My response to him was that he was right, and that this trip meant alot especially around Christmas, and so on and so on. So soon enough the conversation ended and I was just left there thinking I appreciate him being more open with me. I’m all about honesty and saying things right now at the moment and not restrain from speaking how you feel so I was really feelin my SO last night. That’s real.

Okay bigger and better things have been happening. I have to set aside some money cause now I need to get me some gear before I go on this trip. I gotta look fresh while I’m in CA. And I’m going to have to get to the gym more. That’s a must. I got to find someone to switch their schedule with me next Friday because the flight leaves at 7:10 and getting off at 5 and rush hour traffic is not going to work. These are just a few of the things I have to do to prep for my trip.

I still haven’t figured out what to do for New Years Eve but I know I will be toe up somewhere at somebody’s bar LOL. I did the gay bars the past couple of years I think this year I will party with the str8 and narrow. I’m eyeing this King Kong movie I might check it out this weekend.

Today we had our Xmas dinner at work. No big deal, just a bunch of dry ass food that was catered. The banana pudding was off the chain though, so that means an extra 20 minutes cardio tomorrow. One thing I was thinking to myself was how some of the employees brought some of their relatives/spouses over for the dinner. I work in a small office of about 50 employees, all mostly Caucasian and over 30. What if SO showed up for the dinner? Man some of them hoes at the job would flip their wig. All but for my girl Tee, she is “family” and also swings both ways. But what about everyone else? It's crazy because it would have worked out, because it's not like he and I can spend Xmas together this year; i'm gonna be away in Cali. We're both masculine and all, but it just would NOT look right. It just reminds me of some of the things that you have to sacrifice when involved with a same sex partner. I know it’s my own choice to have it this way. Certainly my SO would have been welcome, but it would have been in exchange for the strange stares, confused looks, and dropped jaws to the floor. I keep my sex life to myself in the work environment, so they will never see SO at the job. I think no matter how much I can try and play it off like, “oh, that’s my boi” it will only take that ONE ho to entertain the idea and then I would have to go the fcuk off. So, I played with the idea of him being at the dinner in my head for a while as I picked over dry stuffing and bitter cranberries. The best part of this dinner were some of my coworker's children who came to visit the job and that slammin pudding. Oh, and my imaginary Xmas dinner with SO at the job lol. (grins)

Weekend in Review

This weekend would have to be the best I have had in all year. My days off went by in a flash, but some real good news. I finally got ahold of family that I haven’t spoken to in over 4 years. We kind of estranged ourselves, mainly due to differences in opinion. I planned a last minute trip to California to see my mother and brothers/sisters. I will be leaving on Friday, December 23 and coming back Monday night. I haven’t left ATL since I moved here in 2001 so I’m real excited about flying. I’ll have a lengthy layover in Vegas on the way back, so this is really something to look forward to. Countdown is 11 days.

Besides this great event this past weekend not else been up over here. Mr. D was taken to Cheesecake Factory for his bday on Friday. Went out to have drinks after. Making a mental note NOT to go to Club 708 in Atlanta anymore. The music is hype but for some reason Mr. D keeps insisting on going there the times I do get out. I never really have a good time when I go but I'm glad he was able to enjoy himself. I know it may sound soft but I was kind of thinking of SO most of the time. Only because we had a real rich conversation about family and life like a few minutes before I left the house and it kind of left us hanging when I left. I find it funny because just the other day I posted about CA, and then a few days later my mother responded to my letter I sent to some PO Box she rarely checks. I really was not expecting her to call and I was not expecting this trip but I am so glad that it's happening. The rest of the weekend I just got some much needed rest. I rented some movies and just hung out at home. Other than that, I will have to say it’s a wrap for now.

GHETTOUT

Today I got to work early but tired. I went to bed later than expected cause SO had me up till late. When I got up this morning he was smiling but not for the reasons I thought. He said I was talking in my sleep. I asked him what did I say and he said he was half asleep himself but he heard me mumbling out loud. It was funny cause I’m like for real, what was I sayin. It made me think of Changing Face’s GHETTOUT “findin numbers in your jeans, you talkin in your sleep..”. LOL. I wonder what makes us talk in our sleep? I could only imagine if you are deep in a dream that feels realistic you may talk aloud some. I can't remember my dream so I dont know what I was talkin bout.

Work was real straight today thanks to SO. I didn’t mind the routine calls with the routine customers asking the same ass question over and over. Not at all today. Another reason is cause I knew tomorrow at 1:00 I start my weekend and it couldn’t get here any sooner. Mr D’s birthday is tomorrow so I got to remember to give him a shout out sometime during the day.

I come home and just the usual, some sit ups, judge mathis, some smoke, etc. I even hooked up some tacos for me and Mr. D. Tonite was also the last night for Top Model and I haven’t been catching much of it this season. The girl I liked, Bree, was sent home. so im mad at tyra and about to talk about her hair. It was like a loop on the left and right and then a loop on the top that went over her forehead. She kind of looked like an Oompa Loompa, and then she looked even more Willy Wonka sittin next to Ms Jay.
But she still hot. She’s been hot since she’s played that butch role on Fresh Prince. She’s on my baby momma list.

In the news today was the first day a US Air Marshall had to shoot a passenger over a cited threat and the man was a US Citizen aboard American Airlines. According to the news he had made a statement that he was carrying a bomb aboard the plane. The poor guy was mentally unstable, so I will keep him and his family in prayers. I will also keep in prayers the people aboard the plane because I can only imagine how nerve wrecking that fiasco must have been at the airport. Also for those people in Iran whose apartment was hit by a military jet earlier this week. Also in the news, Sadaam sent the court to hell and decided he wasn’t going to show up.

WTF???.....

peace and love

im going going back back to Cali Cali

I’m not going anywhere soon but I heard this (Biggie remix) im on my way home and it reminded me of CA. Today I was drivin home and my local radio station V-103 played some west coast music on the radio while I rode traffic. I began thinkin back about the time I spent there, for some 4 years. My bio mother lives in Riverside, CA but I didn’t last that long at her house so I ended up getting an apartment in Los Angeles. Cali was cool, the weather was great but I really needed a change. I know, another change, because I was getting into too much trouble over there. Anyhow it was a learning experience and it was interesting how just a few tracks can take you somewhere completely different in your mind.

Work was coo I can’t wait for Thursday, because I will be working half a day and then I will be off until Monday. I don’t know what im doing yet, a good friend of mine’s birthday is this Thursday, so we will probably go out for dinner or some’n like that. We're gonna call him Mr D for rite now He's a mess but we've been good friends for about 8 years, he's actually one of the people i stayed tite wit after i moved from CA and he ended up movin here last year. Now im about to get ready for bed. Im gonna wake up and go to work early so I can work the hour I owe my boss from yesterday.

Second Chance

Can I get a second chance
To see you come back again
Introducing ME once more
Im not the same person anymore
now you can understand me that
Im free of hurt and dark and pain
Im free of the objection and im free of the chain
Don’t underestimate my purpose
When I surface
There’s more to me than meet and greet
And when can we hook up or where can we meet
Man, do you know me
Do you know that love left me and at one time I was lost
You asked who paid the cost? I was the boss and conversation was loss
I took her for granted and im ashamed of the loss

For these reasons I need you back and I need a second chance
Because its deserved, or so they say, but im confessin it today
Because I fell in love today, just like yesterday and before
Only fools you say?
Can you say the same today? Do something good today?
Make a difference today?
Do you get this message? I apologize today.
I look my lover in his eyes today and to him I say
Be all you can be today
Nothin’s ever promised tomorrow today
And im gonna be me today
what im sayin is that I need this chance
so I can move on today
Things haven’t been going my way
But yours
Its your way not the highway
Please settle this score
And give me some more, youre what I’m fighting for
Can I get a second chance?
I don’t want to be without and I don’t want to find
Your attention divide and your love unkind
You are the best thing that has happened in all of my life.

S.O. Monday

Hello Monday

I’m supposed to be up at 7am this morning, so I can leave my house no later than 8am, so I can be at work by 9. So my day started kind of messed up because I wake up at 9:12! I don’t do this too often yall I just kind of forget I had to go to work LOL. I figure shit I’m already late so I made it a point to stop at ChikfilA and get my infamous morning sweet tea to start my day right. I got to work at about 10:30, so now I owe my boss an hour because I forfeited my lunch today. I had to make up some lie, about my keys being locked in the car. I get to my desk and I pray and ask the good Lord for forgiveness for that lie, and now I have to make sure my keys REALLY don’t get locked in my car in the future because that is how karma works.

Okay so yesterday was Sunday so I had to keep it clean but now that monday's here lets get some real live jive.

I have posted the term SO in the past and I just want to let yall be aware, it is short for significant other. My SO in this story is somewhat significant because we met on new years eve and had been exclusively seein each other ever since then. Okay so my SO has been stayin wit me the past couple of week until he find an apt (he was recently evicted), get his money right, etc etc right? I made this decision kinda hasty, I mean this guy really showed his A last summer, talking about he didn’t know what he wanted, he needed time and space, blah blah blah. I’m like OK, I chalked him up as a loss and returned to my player ways. Now my SO needs me and as the good man that I am, I let him in my home. I was really feelin this kat yall that’s why its been kind of messy havin this guy stay wit me. First off we are NOT in a relationship or commitment, so Im NOT supposed to mind if his cell phone goes off at odd hours in the evening. I guess im not supposed to mind the fact that he stays out for days in a row. I guess im not supposed to mind he may be seeing people other than me but the truth is that I do mind. The difference with the old soul and the new soul is that I can let this roll of the back real easy. I guess its just part of the new soul, the one who doesn’t put too much energy into this. I don’t want to give the guy a hard time either because I’m like, how would I want for someone to treat ME if it was I in his situation. For now I am just enjoying his company and continue to help him find something within his price range. I had planned my day accordingly Saturday, which was the day we were supposed to go look for apts, and I was stood up. How am i gonna get stood up and im helpin YOU out LOL I got a text at 2 talkin bout he lost track of time and needs to go to work (I was under the impression he was off). Saturday night he was supposed to come home after work, and I was stood up a second time, this one with no call OR no text. (he does this a lot-standing me up) A part of me knows he is not ready for a relationship, but im just doing what I feel is right. I’m also trying real hard not to worry about what he doing and concentrating more on me. We talked about this the other night, and what i got was im ready and hes not. Fine with me, its just that for a minute there I almost convinced myself that it was I who was NOT ready for a relationship, when indeed I am. Just not ready for a relationship with him or his situation. So, that’s just a little background on my SO, as you may be hearing about him from time to time.

Some say I’m being used but I don’t care. The man is very good to me and my needs in bed so who’s the one using who? The question today is how long do you wait before you have a live in relationship with your SO? Is there a time frame?