Family Matters

I have safely returned from my short trip to California however a whole lot has been going on in the world of soforeal. How about last Friday night my flight ended in Ontario, CA at around 11:10pm which makes it 2:10am ATL time. So you know I was tired. But why did America West lose my luggage? I was so heated. And I wasn’t the only one with lost luggage, there were about 10 other passengers from ATL whose luggage they had lost as well. So I filled out some baggage claim form but to sum it up my bag was not delivered to my brother’s house until late Sunday afternoon so I spent all weekend without my clothes. We left Saturday morning to San Diego so I had to go and buy brand new clothing. I’m talking about shirts, jeans right down to my socks and drawers. It was real inconvenient. However my lost luggage could not damper the feeling I had when my 4 year old niece instantly recognized who I was at the airport gate. The last time I had seen her she was JUST born, maybe about 6 or 7 months old. So for her to instantly recognize her estranged uncle was one of the best feelings I had all weekend. Spending time with my nephew and brother made it all better as well. Why does my six year old nephew know most of the words to Franchize Boys and 50 cent? And why was he hollarin out “shawtee” to some overgrown woman at the mall on Saturday? LOL The little man is a riot.

We finally got to my sister’s house in San Diego late Saturday afternoon after taking care of some business with my brother. My grandmother cooked a traditional Cuban dinner man I missed that food so much. After dinner we exchanged gifts. The best part was watching my nephew and niece open their presents. My nephew’s favorite was a PSP my brother got him and my niece’s favorite was a doll and some wig and microphone set that came with it. She did ask the grown folks if we can ask Santa to bring her more toys than clothes next year. Can you believe her? We took a million pictures of them and then took our butts to bed that night.

The issue I have now is that my family is trying to convince me to move back to California. I had distanced myself for some time but now that I have made good with them I am reconsidering their suggestion. It’s not only because I am getting tired of holding my tongue out on SO and it’s not only because I feel like I’m at a dead end job. I have some business I left behind in CA that is very important and needs to be handled as soon as possible or else my ass will end up in jail again. So, the situation is that I’m here in ATL, and I can address those issues from home however it will take quite a while. Another year or so? I have been trying to patch it up for about 2 years now, and it seems like I will get better results if I just face these issues and address them the proper way in CA how I’m supposed to. However I’m thinking do I have anything worth staying for in ATL? I have my feelings for SO but its obvious we are not anywhere near a relationship. I have absolutely no family here in ATL and if I went back to CA, it’s a possibility that I come back to ATL if need be, but it’s likely that I won’t. Only because my mother and sister are doing real good with the mortgage business over there and if it works out for me, I might stay longer than expected. So, what does a man like me do? All I have in ATL are countless bootie calls and hopes that SO and I will be something more than just friends. So I have the obvious right in front of my face, but I also have a home, job and car I worked so hard for in this tired city that I can’t seem to give up that easy. I don’t know what it is but as soon as I returned Monday night I started to realize that SO and our live in situation is not such a hot idea. I don’t know how much longer I can tolerate this invasion of privacy in exchange for a mere inkling of hope that one day I can give up fucking everyone else and someday make a commitment. Because of the issues I have to take care of in CA, am I, myself, ready for a relationship? How can I expect something from someone when I am not sure if I can give it myself?
Anyway I try not to make this too lengthy but I have a whole lot on my mind lately and I feel a change is coming for the 06.

***Pic above from left to right: sis, niece, nephew