Life and Times of Soforeal

Dont Call It A ComeBack!

2007-06-18T23:53:00.002-04:00

Okay maybe I haven't been here for years and years per say but...you get the point. It has been a while and for good reason cause my ass been busy. It feels really good to be back. You know how when you have been gone for a long time from work/school it is kind of hard to get back into routine? LOL.. Well that’s how this is feeling to me damn near almost a year since my last entry. So much has happened since then. Since September of last year Mr. D and I decided to part and go on our separate ways and are no longer roommates. Mr. D and I have been good friends for about 8 years now and he was rooming with me for a while. Our friendship has become so much better since we made this decision. He is now talking about moving back home and all this and that cause of all these reasons but I am trying my best to encourage him not to give up.

The job I was offered when I returned from my legal fiasco in California has been going very well also. 2007 has been real good to me so far. Since I've I have been given a raise and also received several bonuses so money has been real good to me. I can’t believe next month will make a year since I have started. How fast time flies.

The relationship with my family in Cali has been the same more or less other than the fact I wish we would talk more. My mother was going through a divorce not too long ago and work has been slow for my mom and brother so there was a time where the communication lines were interrupted. Nevertheless we managed to plan a summer trip and I will be flying out there next week for my birthday. This will be my second travel destination this year. I just came back from Miami last month from a trip I will never forget. Yes there was a whole lot of sexy going on down there being that it was Black Pride weekend and all but I also really went to see my family and friends down there as well. I just wish I had more time to spend with family cause for a moment I got kinda caught up in the “activities” and I did a bit much down there. So I will definitely have to go back soon and dedicate some more family time.

My greatest accomplishment since last Fall besides my impressive work ethics at my new job has been a very significant weight loss. About 30 pounds give or take have came off after some extreme working out and changes to my diet. I’m extremely proud of that cause I had really let myself go for a while. Also, I have taken a part time waiting tables at night so that I can save up for my house. That has also been keeping me in shape as well cause I’m on my feet the whole time getting some useful cardio action going on walking and carrying food, get it? No cheating or diet pills here I went the natural way and I can’t even see myself going back to my old habits. I feel so much better about myself and my health now it’s great.

Come Get It

2006-09-09T16:16:00.000-04:00

I just left Cali and my ass just got a plane ticket to go right back in November! Yep, I’m going back for Thanksgiving week. I can’t help it, I miss my little guys too much (niece and nephew). My niece just started kindergarten this year and she came home crying the first few days. When my sister in law asked her what was wrong she said she wanted to go back to PreK because her new teacher makes her write too much! LOL..Kids are such a trip. Well I can hardly wait to see them. One thing I do miss about the West is the weather and most importantly, my family.

Nothing much has been going on since I have been back. It feels crazy sometimes because I kind of got right back into routine once I got home. No time to play around lol. Although I did get out for Labor Day weekend. I went out Friday and Saturday nights, and I needed that Sunday and Monday to recuperate! LOL. I met this shorty Friday night and I mean shorty literally because he was about 3 inches shorter than me. We hung out for the most part and had a good time Saturday too. However I’m kind of thinking maybe I don’t want to keep in touch with this guy. During one of our conversations he said he would have never thought I was so intelligent and cultured when we first met. WTF? Do I look dumb or something? I didn’t know what to think. At first, I’m thinking that was really one of those things you want to keep to yourself cause it didn’t sound right. That’s really the first I’ve ever heard of that and it was hard to digest as a compliment. So I’m unsure of what to think about that comment.

The new job is great! I’m really enjoying myself at this company because I am learning so much and it is such a good opportunity for me to finally have some doors open. It was truly a blessing to land such a coveted job in my line of work the first week I got back to ATL. Of course, I have been in training sessions the first two months but next week we officially start work so let’s see if I feel the same way in a few days lol.

So in short I am truly blessed. I really couldn’t ask for anything else.

I resigned my lease for another six months. I really didn’t want to, but I need some more time before I make a major investment. In six months I should be purchasing instead of renting hopefully. Also, Mr. D has been staying with me and renting out the other room so this is also helping me save for that too.

I am really feeling some of the tracks on JT’s new shit. He should do good next week when his album is released.

CrunkSpot:
"Moneymaker" Ludacris feat Pharrell

Bday Recap

2006-07-07T13:55:00.000-04:00

First I would like to say it feels real good to be 27! I kept telling Kim they would let her out on my bday but the broad wouldn't listen! LOL! That's whats up now Kim and her fans have no choice BUT to remember my day as a day of celebration! I don't know what you did Kim but I celebrated my birthday in what seemed to be a three day stretch that started last Thursday on the 29th. Let me backtrack though to the day I flew in from Cali. The plane ride was extremely nerve-wrecking because we were experiencing heavy turbulence due to the weather in ATL. The plane had to circle the terminal several times before preparing to land and when it DID land, we had to wait before we could get out because of the heavy rain and lightning. I was so through with that night. However the days that followed made up for the inconvenience. Within my first week I was presented with an incredible career opportunity working for a company that offered a much higher salary than what I am used to. I was so pleased with the outcome because my old job had reservations on bringing me back on board and they were skeptical on the fact that I had asked for a raise due to my circumstances. Now I can say that I am truly blessed with how things worked out. Another incentive about working for this company is that they are a lot closer to home as well. I accepted the offer last Friday which called for great celebration due to my up and coming birthday. All I can say is that I was extremely intoxicated all weekend. On one night, last Friday to be exact, I was harassed by this gentleman who kept insisting that we had a “thing” going on and how glad he was that I was back so we can “finish what we started”. HUH? That was real scary because I really could not remember who the guy was! Most of my night was spent dodging this guy between the dance floor and the outdoor patio. It just reminded me that I really needed to slow down and focus on business now that I’m back because something in the back of my mind tells me we MAY have met but I truly don’t remember. And if I DON’T remember wouldn’t that be more of a bad thing than a good thing? Well, nevertheless you don’t stalk people so I didn’t find his actions in the club that night appropriate at all. I seem to have that kind of effect on crazies. I think my friend Trent can attest to that (i.e. Lurch..LOL) Oh yeah I forgot to mention the night before I left Cali I hung out with Trent Jackson! He is a real cool guy and hanging out with him was like we had known each other for a long time. He was a breath of fresh air considering what I had going on that evening! Thanks Trent! So back to my bday weekend: the following night, Saturday, I went to a house party with my boi Mouse. I was real excited to see Mouse however that night we drank more alcohol than we could handle and some comments may have been made that I really could have kept to myself. Well needless to say we had a great time. The party was real laid back and I was real glad to be welcomed by a familiar down south summer house party the way it should really be done. So much went on this weekend but for the most part I had a great time. I wish I can update my blog on a more frequent basis to avoid having to fill in so many gaps between time but I am having issues reconnecting my DSL service PLUS my computer is still in the process of being shipped (supposedly). I might get impatient and just buy a whole new system but I am going to wait it out a while and see if I can come up with a more feasible solution.

The bad news is that I have a real bad cold. Well, I HAD a real bad cold. It’s kind of getting better by now. I first experienced the symptoms on Monday (yes on my bday!). It may have something to do with the change of weather and the fact that I was drinking and getting rained on on some nights last weekend. Well I have suffered the consequences and have really been just chillen and enjoying this time off until the 17th when I start my new job. After several Pseudafed’s and Nyquils I can say I feel just a bit better today because I can finally breathe! I hate being stuffed up! I guess we can’t have it our way ALL the time huh? Well I am very pleased with the way things are going here and I shall post soon enough when I get my PC issues together.

CrunkSpot:
"Call Me" Too Short feat. Lil Kim

Blah,Etc.

2006-06-21T03:09:00.000-04:00

I haven’t posted anything because I’ve been in a BLAH kind of mood lately. The whole driving to ATL situation is not convenient because I have a meeting on Monday morning and as it is right now I am nowhere near ready to go. So, I’m saving the roadtrip experience for another date and time! I got a flight leaving Los Angeles this Saturday and I get to Atlanta that evening. It’s a nonstop because Lord knows I hate connecting flights. Hell I hate flying period but if it’s got to be done, it’s got to be done. There will be no Lelee's wedding and Mr. D will fly back solo on Sunday. HOWEVER I'm planning on making a visit to the Circus Disco the night before for all yall West Coast haters! I'm getting towed up that night so that I sleep the whole way through on the plane Saturday. I'm downing a fifth of Henn and a White Owl straight to the head. That along with my iPod should hold me over. Talking about flying high why is it that people get so excited about making love in an airplane? I saw “Rumor Has It” (which was pretty good) with my sister last night and Jennifer Aniston and the guy who plays her fiancé were all trying to do it but it didn’t work out for them. What’s the big deal? Isn’t it just like doing it anywhere else? I should have to try it out sometime with the right person.

Why am I hooked on Caramel Frapps at Starbucks in the morning! Aren’t they like a million calories in those things? The addiction just kind of happened. What’s up with the “venti” and “grande” BS. “Grande” is really “Big” in Spanish, so you would think grande is the largest but it’s really not it’s the medium. Then “tall” is really the “smallest”. I always ask for MEDIUM and I know the BARISTAS think it’s ghetto cause I’m not calling it “grande”. I also dislike when they yell out your name really loud when your shit is ready but I have a problem with people yelling out my name period. Unless it’s in bed, then there I can tolerate it you know.

So the deal is that I’ve been hooked on Starbucks for the two months I’ve been in Cali and I swear it’s the reason I have gained SIX friggin pounds in 2 months! WTF I need to get the hell out of dodge and get to getting back healthy quick.

There are a few people I can’t wait to see when I get to Atlanta and one of them is my boi Mouse who called me on Sunday. Mouse I met 2 years ago in a very awkward situation that eventually turned into a much valued friendship . He’s extremely down to earth and not afraid to be himself. That’s what turns me on about Mouse. We have slept in the same bed and have not done anything. We have kept it real with each other throughout our friendship aware of our mutual attraction we got goin and I think that’s hot too. He’s seeing somebody now but anybody that really knows me knows that I'm not shy about "situations". I’m all about respect and in "situations" like those I can honestly say I am not the initiator (well at least not all the time). However I'm not planning on letting too much get out of control with Mouse when I get there. If he’s happy I would not want to come between what he got goin on.

What sucks about leaving here so soon is that it will be another year my brother and I don’t get together on our birthdays. We both are July 3rd and no we are not twins. He was born five years before me ain’t that crazy! Out of the 26 birthdays I've had he and I did something together twice. Well unfortunately we will have to chalk up another year cause I'm not waiting here that long! Happy Bday BRO!!
.

CrunkSpot:
“I’m Gonna Be” Donell Jones

I Got Hoes...

2006-06-08T00:57:00.000-04:00

I’m not sure what it is but I am so ready to go home. So many damn HATERS in the West Coast. Or do I just happen to know the funk of the bunch? For real and don't even get me started on my own family. My family has so much drama I swear I can write a book about them. All their bickering and gossip sometimes makes me want to throw the fuck up. I just hate that I will miss my moms but I got to do what I got to do. Call me what you want I don't care but I gotta go. It’s not just the family that has me stressed out, don’t get me wrong. It’s a combination of things. I’ve been keeping up the rent for my apartment in Atlanta and making sure they will renew my lease cause it was supposed to be up this month. All is OK with that the only thing is I don’t think I’m going to fly back. I fell in love with a car out here and I’m probably going to end up driving it home. All 3,000 miles! Mr. D is coming out here on the 20th so he can make it to our girl Lelee’s wedding on the 24th. So the plan is to start the road trip right after the ceremony Saturday night and that should get us there no later than Tuesday. It would be so interesting I have never planned a road trip that long. The only thing that concerns me is that I have seen 5 different maps and I’m not sure which one to follow. I’m just gonna use the one that looks most correct. I’m looking forward to this very much. I am going to go back home and pick up right where I left off. Sweet tea here I come!

26 more days till my birthday!!! What will I do? Smoke and chill probably I’m not hard to please. Maybe a get together with a small group of acquaintances? Miami Beach? A sex party hell I don’t care but whatever it is it needs to be celebrated back HOME. I have been real horny lately and I think that’s also adding to the frustration factor out here. Even though I DO got hoes in different area codes! 2 of the 3 jumpoffs I kept in contact with are now in committed relationships even though one keeps trying to get me over to his place for a 3some wit his boi. Uh-NO thank you. At least not right now (wink). The one that WAS available we hooked up a few weeks ago. Dude was alright but not enuff. I was not satisfied. Like Chinese food, how it never satisfies my hunger for some reason. Not to mention I had to drive 57 miles to meet the brotha cause I’m in the middle of nowhere! Fuck that so I have just been beating the meat! Yep! In my white tee! Yep! LOL..Was that TMI? If so I don’t care it’s the truth. I have been doing other things to try and keep my mind off sex like reading. Right now I’m on E Lynn’s "Any Way the Wind Blows". I know I’m late but I can’t put the book down. To anyone familiar with the book, isn’t Bart a HOT MESS! Lol…so is Ava, the character that plays Yancey’s mother. I want to make a movie out of Harris’ books one day, I think that would be really hot. Would it be a hit? I wonder about that at times. When I read, I have a visual of what these people look like and it’s already like my own movie in my head, so why not take it to the big screens? I do the same with songs. I can hear a track and visualize a whole video that would really sell the song. Watch out Chris Robinson! Should I go into production? I think about that. I also think about who I would get to play the parts of some of the people in Any Way the Wind Blows. For instance, I would get Mekhi Phifer to play Basil…wouldn’t that be hot? I would get Shemar Moore to play Raymond and Sanaa Lathan to play Yancey. Lynn Whitfield can play Ava and how about Monica Calhoun as Windsor? Why did I automatically associate LaVonya with Wendy Williams. LoL… What a hot cast. You would have had to have read the book to feel me on this. If any of his movies go to Hollywood remember where you heard it first!

Speaking of movies I went to see the "Omen" yesterday. I enjoyed it for the most part, only because the original is one of my favorite horror classics. What I enjoyed the most was the leading roles in the film! I love Julia Stiles. She’s the chic that for some reason they are always pairing her up with a brotha (i.e. "Save the Last Dance", "O", etc). I think she did a great job playing Katherine. What an actress. I also enjoyed Leiv whatever his last name is playing the role of the husband. With his sexy self. I remembered him from "The Manchurian Candidate" where he played alongside Merryl Streep, another great film for him. Speaking of Merryl can’t wait to watch "The Devil Wears Prada" also. Ah, summer movies. Only thing I hated about the "Omen" yesterday was the mob of youngsters that had the same idea as I. Maybe I went to the wrong theater cause I was not in the general area I was in the middle of the hood hood wit my boy Rob. Shit I forgot school was out and the theater was packed from the window to the wall with loud and obnoxious adolescents! Aargh! I had to cuss out the mofo behind me cause he would not stop kicking the back of my chair. Damn, no home training. The movie had an interesting twist at the end. I don’t want to spoil the movie for anyone, but there was a lot of political context in it that I don’t quite remember in the original. Or maybe I need to watch the original again. Blockbuster night anyone? It would be one other thing I can do to help me stop thinking about ASS so damn much…

CrunkSpot:
“Check My Footwork” D4L

Soul Search

2006-06-04T05:03:00.000-04:00

Why did you leave here?
Love
I think about you and wonder why
I neglected what we had
when it was time to find you
Gone
Like the dust skittles
the score was settled
Your desire to keep us special
But now you are there, in place
I think of you at times love
And wonder, how is it where you are
Is there pain or are you blissful
as rumors say
I wonder many days
Will you find me when I get there
remember
I used to hold you love
your face on my chest
breathed promises
while you slept
You were a friend best yet
You had my better interest at heart love
Little did I know
How much you loved me back
so naive of me...
I will never know
How your body would have felt
seductive and near
But I’m fortunate I own a piece of your soul love
Before I leave here

Dedicated to SoulDZire

CrunkSpot:
"So Amazing" Luther Vandross

PRAYER CHANGES THINGS

2006-05-31T05:05:00.000-04:00

Well what do you know? The state of CA gave me a break and I did not have to serve that time like I thought I would! God is so good! The mistake I made years ago would have carried a ten day sentence in this particular county. I prayed I would not have to serve the whole ten days but it turned out for the best cause I did not have to do a single day. Of course I was slapped with a grip of fees but it was all worth it at the end. I was ready to make the very best of this unfortunate experience. I was going to return and share each day of that experience on this blog, but it wasn’t in the cards for me. Instead of spending a holiday weekend at Oz I went to Laughlin, Nevada with my brother and family. We left on Friday morning and just got back Monday afternoon. Here is a picture of where I spent most of my time (and money).

Laughlin is a strip of high rise hotels and casinos with the Colorado River running right beside it. People from all over the place come to this vacation hot spot with boats and jet skis for the weekend and it is very reminiscent of Las Vegas. I love going there! I had been there two other times before this last trip. Laughlin is about 5 hours away from where my family lives in California. We hitched my brothers jet skis on the trailer and drove them up there.
The water was extremely cold but we did a whole lot of swimming and I even got a much needed tan. Having been in ATL for so long I did not realize how overdue my skin was for some California sun lol. There were a few things that did not go that smooth but overall I had the time of my life. I was so grateful that I was able to spend quality time like this with my niece and nephew instead of having to stay at some crowded smelly jail. Here are some pics of the family and I on this memorable trip.

So life has been real good to me this year because I got a big obstacle out the way and I have reunited with family after a real long time. Now it’s time for me to back home where my heart is and my flight is booked for June 27 headed back to the ATL. What sucks is that I haven’t found the courage to break the news to my family yet. I plan to do it this week but man they are not going to like the news. They really pushed for me to stay here but the truth is I was doing so good where I was at. I really tried to stay around family this time around but one thing I learned about them was that even THEY are not perfect. As a kid I looked up to so many people for role models such as my older brother, uncles, my mother, etc. Yet never in a million years would I expect to point out to myself the evident flaws these people in my life have. One thing I did learn from this experience is that no ONE is perfect. How funny that sometimes we put family and loved ones high up on that pedestal, so much that you forget who really is sitting at the very top. I learned that He is the only one perfect in this life, and I learned that only through Him will I continue to face my fears and continue walking in faith. I had a much needed vacation this weekend and was able to think through a great deal of things that have been on my mind. Don’t worry, I wrote them down in case I run out of ideas for this blog.

CrunkSpot:
"If You Can Only See" Tonic

Untitled Cause I Say So

2006-05-23T02:05:00.000-04:00

Alright for Danielle! I can’t wait to see her doing other projects! Thank you Tyra but please try not to transform her to a video hoe. OK? Oh yeah and where the hell is Kim?!? If yall can’t tell by now I’ve had a Crush on Kim since ’96 but the bitch is so trifling. I was thinking about writing to her but I haven’t. Oh well, she’s too busy reading letters from Marc Jacob and shit she probably does not have time for me. If you all are interested they did an official “behind bars” interview in May’s issue of XXL. She also has a hot verse on a track called “Stomp” and no it is not with Kirk Franklin. It’s some rapper called Maino. Who is he? Hell I don’t know I just know she’s on it so it’s hot. I hope she’s doing alright. I, on the other hand, is seriously trippen. Part of my sentencing here are 5 days community service. They’re not talking about stacking books at the library either. They have something out here called CalTrans and it’s a state agency dedicated to highways and shit. So guess what they got me doing…you got it. Physical ass labor. I’m not feeling it at all. The physical labor isn’t what bothers me. I actually like the fact at least I’m getting good exercise. I think the fact that they want you to show up at 6:30 am is what gets on my nerves. Don’t they know I’m in the middle of nowhere and have to get up at 5am to get there on time? Saturday morning they made two Mexicans go back home because they were late. Like if they were getting paid! Anyway so Tuesday and Wednesday will be my last two days cause I already did three. Then I turn myself in for my 10 day sentence on Thursday.

This experience is really opening my eyes up to a lot. I have learned a lot about myself and the choices I have made in the past. Maybe in a few days I will post about them. Right now all I know is that I’m really missing the ATL and yes I’m going back. Probably right after I get out of this legal mess I’m in. I tried to take care of this from GA but the court was like, no, you have to show up. Please don’t think I’m some felon either, this is all over some retarded ass traffic tickets that were left pending over a long period of time and I guess that’s why they’re trying to make me pay some consequences. Which I really don’t mind, but they won’t be seeing my ass here much longer. I love the weather here and everything but right now all I want is some Waffle House and a large Georgia sweet tea. I asked for it at the Denny’s here and the waitress was like, “Sweet Tea? We don’t carry that…we have iced tea?” Bitch ain’t that the same thing! Well when she brought it over I quickly discovered it was not. Even though it wasn’t her fault, I did not leave a tip. I don’t care either I was in a bad mood after that. She could have offered to stir some sugar in my tea. Or some sugar on my tongue. That would have really gotten her a tip-maybe Yep, I’m home sick. S.O. called me the other day, left a message, and I haven’t talked to him since. I tried calling him, but refused to leave a message on his roommate’s cell phone. Yeah, he hasn’t even gotten his own phone yet how tired is that? But I miss his tired ass. I also miss my friend Romeo and my friend shortcake. Everyone is going to think I’m crazy when I tell them I’m moving back to Atlanta but you know what I don’t even care. I think I’m getting real tired of worrying about what people will think about the decisions I make in MY life. It’s just that I really wanted to be close to family but since I’ve moved here I just see that everyone is living their life the way they want to and maybe I should do the same. I just can’t shake the memories I’ve left behind here. Some were good but most were pretty bad and maybe I’m in a different place in my life. Anyway, at least I still have my apartment in Atlanta so all I have to do is get my ticket once I’m out of Oz.

Is anyone else just as tired of Elton always blowing a hissy fit over nothing. What is wrong with that queen? I’ve noticed a few wack and crazy thangs goin on in Hollywood since I’ve been here. Like, what is up with this Terri Seymour chick who just came out of nowhere and is Simon’s alleged girlfriend? Yeah right. Just like Seacrest and his girlfriend. If Taylor wins I will boycott Idol forever! Why is Gary Coleman doing commercials for payday advances? What happened? And if anyone else is wondering what Free from 106 and Park is doing for work she has a time slot from 3-7pm on LA’s 100.3 the Beat. How wonderful is that? I’m just wondering which paycheck was bigger, hmm? Well anyway I was part of the flock that went to seek the truth this weekend and saw the “Davinci Code” Saturday night. Which reminds me of something that happened that day that was real interesting. Maybe I’ll post about it tomorrow. I’m going to bed.

CrunkSpot:
"Promiscuous" Nelly Furtado feat Timbaland

WHO I THINK SHOULD WIN

2006-05-17T05:02:00.000-04:00

DANIELLE

ELLIOT YAMIN

CrunkSpot:
“Poppin My Colla” 36 Mafia

Countdown to Lockdown and Other Things

2006-05-15T11:30:00.000-04:00

Well, well, well so much to say here but so little time. I’m in Southern Cali and things aren’t going good and they’re not going bad, they’re just going. I’m definitely blessed with good health and my family is doing good too so I am grateful for those things. I really missed writing in this blog and I’m glad I’m finally getting a chance to do it. I haven’t been able to hook up my desktop PC because my mom’s home office has no room for it. So I had to go get me a notebook because I had no idea how dependent I was on modern tech LOL. There’s been a whole lot goin on with me and my ability to adapt to my new environment. It so happens my mother lives in the middle of the desert in a town called Sun City about 70 miles south of Los Angeles. There is nothing here but some large and beautiful homes and several senior citizen subdivisions. I don’t understand why my mom chose to move down here but apparently she is not so happy with the area either and she is looking to move back to the city. I won’t be moving with her because as many predicted I am ATL home sick and I’m contemplating when I will be returning. The lack of culture and things (and people) to do is getting to me. I’ve been spending most of my time here with my family which is good but it’s taking a long time for me to get adjusted over here and I’m getting impatient. The biggest challenge I’ve had to face here yet are my past legal woes that led me here in the first place. I guess you can consider what I have to do here my own Soforeal Countdown to Lockdown…they tryin to put a brotha in jail!!!! LOL. No seriously I have to do a ten day sentence on 5/25/06 and I’m so not looking forward to it. I also have to do five days community service as well. How thuggish. The sooner I get done with this the sooner I can get back to my life cause things need to get back to normal for me. The closest gym here is about 35 miles away and between the lack of what used to be a routine work out and the junk I have been eating out of stress has led to me gaining back what I worked so hard for to lose in weight. Why is it so hard to shed the pounds but so easy to put them back on?? “Well so what I got a little fat cause my shorty told me he like it like that shit” get it? Remy? Ok nevermind. That’s another thing, I miss my iTunes. As soon as I’m done posting this I’m going to start on my next project on getting my tunes on this notebook.

Sometimes life throws us curveballs we are not prepared to handle. Years ago when I used to live here I used to talk to this very handsome brotha I’ll call him Dee who lived in the Wood out in L.A. The attraction was definitely there but he suggested we take things slow because he didn’t want to ruin the friendship we had. We both enjoyed music and movies, and he was head over heels over Blu Cantrell. He was really a fan, the man had posters and pictures of her all over his place. LOL. My fast self used to try and take our friendship to the next level and he would aways stop it before it got too hot and heavy, repeating to me the fact that we should wait and take things slow. Instead, we would had several blockbuster nights at his place, watching movies and falling asleep on each other on his couch. We would go eat wings at this really good spot in L.A. and hang out and talk for hours about movies and music. He was such a good guy and we used to chat on and off when I moved to ATL. He used to send me cards on the holidays and we used to swap horror stories of some of the wack and messed up brothas we had been meeting. After a while we both agreed if I ever were to come back to Cali we would probably start exclusively dating, cause we were both in a point in our lives where we could handle something like that. We lost touch a few months ago and then the number got disconnected. Since I’ve been here I have been trying to get back in touch with him and I recently found out he passed away in February. The whole situation is kind of emotional to me cause I was not expecting to hear that about the guy. He was in what I believed perfect health, in his late twenties, and so full of energy and charm. I’ve been a wreck over this because I really don’t know how he passed, and I know he had sisters up in Frisco but I have no contact info on them. The whole situation is kind of fucked up but I am just praying that he is in fact in a better place as cliché as it sounds. One thing about this is how we need to appreciate the people we have around us because God can take them from us without warning. I wish I would have been able to talk to him more or made more initiative to come visit him as I promised I would. Last time we spoke was around Easter last year I believe, and he joked on how he didn’t even get a card from me on his birthday but he was looking forward to seeing me when I came back to the West Side. He always found a way to make me laugh when I was feeling down and he was one of the most down to earth people I know. It’s kind of hard because it seems like everyone else here I know has their own drama and BS they goin thru themselves so I really don’t want to bring anybody down with this kind of news. I have been able to talk with my sister in law and she was some real good support when I found out about the news but other than her I really have been keeping this to myself.

Well about mother’s day it was great! My brother and I took out my sister in law and mom to dinner at this awesome Mexican restaurant not too far from where we’re at and ate some real good food! You guys must try this desert it’s called fried ice cream. Dam that shit was good! It’s like a fluffy pastry over a sweet coating of a caramel with French vanilla ice cream inside. It was so dam good I woke up this morning thinking about it! LOL. I have had enough with eating junk though seriously. I look in the mirror and I can see the love handles coming back and I am not happy with that. Starbucks is part to blame cause I got addicted to the caramel fraps again! Ok and I didn’t want this to be a long post so I’ll cut it right here for right now. It’s early Monday morning over here and the weather is great so I’m going for a jog.

CrunkSpot:
“I Wish” R. Kelly

Georgia On My Mind

2006-04-06T01:46:00.000-04:00

It has been a significant amount of time since my last posting and for good reason. I have been busy like you couldn’t believe. I am leaving Georgia exactly one week from today and my procrastinating ass has been playing catch up with just about everything on my to do list. Is it me or are there just NOT enough hours in the day to handle biz? Anyway somehow through all this moving mess I am somehow juggling spending my last few days in town with some of my favorite people in the ATL. One in particular my girl Shortcake who has been down for me since we’ve met a few years back. Yesterday we met up at the movies to watch ATL.

I really meant to go last weekend to support T.I. and all since they tried to hate on his movie so bad out here. The whole thing was some head of security over at this mall out here called Perimeter decided to send an email to other security officials at other metro locations to forewarn of a “possible altercation” on the release night of the film. WTF??? Here is T.I. the first rapper to put out a CD and star in a movie in the same week and they’re going to try and hate on the man’s success. I really enjoyed the whole skating concept because my boys and I used to hang out at the roller rink like that too when I was younger so it really took me back a few years. Maybe it means I was biased because the film has gotten mixed reviews. Honestly it did lack a good story line but it did a fantastic job portraying the cozy and laidback lifestyle of the South just as it planned out to do. I think the reason it lacked a good plot is because according to its producers it was loosely based on the lives of Tionne T-Boz Watkins and Atlanta producer Dallas Austin and maybe it was just them two with just too much to tell in too little time. Besides that the movie was good in my opinion. I don’t even know what the big deal was about cause the movie really didn’t have a whole lot of violent scenes or anything that would provoke any such behavior from anyone. Although nowadays it really doesn’t take much to get something started, I do believe the email was a false alarm with ill intent. Just along with everything else that goes down here. It seems like the minute I moved out here I went into a time machine and went 40 years back. If it’s not the officer who tackled the white lady down at the airport, it’s the concept of the city’s adopted song and if it’s not that it’s the city’s former black mayor on trial for racketeering and tax fraud. If that wasn’t enough then it’s the immigrants fighting to stay here illegally with benefits and if it’s not that it’s Cynthia McKinney’s ghetto self slugging people. The race card is a hot topic down in the South and it has been interesting experiencing it here . Race is still an issue in just about every part of the world but I honestly have not been so close to the brunt of its consequences until I moved to Atl in 2002. Am I complaining? Hell no. History is more than just words imprinted in books and recited in classrooms. I believe we make history everyday. It is the foundation of our society and really tells a story on how we are as people and how we have evolved with the times to live more peacefully. To experience modern day issues here and be a part of it for as long as I have been able to experience has truly been a blessing. I met some wonderful people out here and really enjoyed the commodities of living a relaxed urban lifestyle within city limits at an affordable price. I definitely plan on returning here and purchase my first home in a few years however right now my family and personal issues are requiring me to chill in the West Coast for a while so I hope they’re ready for me. Here are some of the things I will miss the most about ATL:

Fried Chicken (the real way)
Golden Corral
The brothas
The outlet stores
Affordable housing
The brothas
S.O.
Spoken Word venues
Did I say the brothas lol
Sweet Tea
Six Flags Over Georgia
Lennox Mall and the Phipps Plaza
Stone Mountain and Piedmont Park

There’s a whole lot more I could add to this list but there’s no need to get mushy. I hate mushiness. I felt bad because on my last day of work a coworker came ready with a camera and was all smiles and cheery wanting to take my picture and I quickly muttered I wasn’t in the mood at the moment. Without hesitation the broad said “forget it then, I won’t take shit”. She politely put her camera back in her purse and threw it on her desk. LOL. Was she offended? Hell, I was offended. I’m used to people being all like “come on, don’t be like that” and be really annoying and persisting where you finally break down and be like "okay fine let’s take a picture" and it’s all over and done with. This lady wasn’t hearing any of that and I got no mushiness. But a part of me wanted it when it was taken away. I hate that lol. Always wanting what we can’t have. Anyhow I have taken enough pictures with certain people the past couple of days.

Left to Right: (aka Shortcake, aka Yours Truly, aka Morehouse)

Why is it that I feel so important now that I’m getting ready to leave? All of a sudden I’m one hot tamale, I should announce a departure more often huh. I think the Atl brotha’s have also been slowin up the process here. My phone been off the hook! I certainly am NOT complaining on the southern “hospitality” I have been getting from my many favorite ATL jumpoffs my last few days here. Okay not many, just maybe three. They are all unique in their own way and they will each be missed in their own way. It’s just time to move on to a different chapter in my life. If they were meant to be anything else more in my life then I am certain they will reappear later on in my story. As far as my friends are concerned they are sure they can visit me out there and vice versa. I will miss ATL while I’m gone, but I’m definitely NOT saying “good bye” but a firm “see you later”.

CrunkSpot:
"Gettin' Some Head" Shawna

Gotta Go, Gotta Leave

2006-03-10T15:02:00.000-05:00

I read somewhere that Cancers have the best memory and although I don’t buy too much into astrology I got to say that that particular fact about my birth sign is true. A year ago today SO and I went to see The Jacket at the movies and went out for dinner afterwards to celebrate his birthday. I was up late last night and decided to call and be one of the first to wish him a happy bday (it was around 11:40PM). We talked for a while about my decision to relocate temporarily and how he really enjoyed the times we spent together, and when can he visit blah blah blah. I immediately started to get a little turned off on myself. I’m so tired of meeting what are supposed to be jump offs and putting all this faith into something only for it to blow up in my face. Don’t get me wrong, SO is a good guy. His spirit is in the right place. It was through his own advice and support that I found strength to reach out to my family last year for the first time in years. Only thing is, why put up a front in the very beginning? I hate that mess. When we first met, we had sex. It was off the chain, bedframe knockin, name yellin sex and at first we agreed our relationship was to remain just that—physical. But then emotions started to get involved and he started talking about family and how much he wanted to build and grow with someone like me, etcetera, etcetera. So for the second time in my life I put my guard down for a dude. I allowed this man into my personal life, discussing family, past issues, future endeavors, so on and so forth. I mean I’m no grand Adonis here but for me to allow you in my world that deep it would have to be kind of serious. So we met last January of 2005 and since then he has switched it up on me a couple of times. Once it was during the infamous Spring/Summer time of the year when brothas tend to ac’ up. (per Vivica on 2 Can Play that Game). He then returned Fall/Winter of last year only to shack up with me, play house, and then disappear all over again. WTF??? Here I am a year later and I realized last night after our convo that I’m getting too old and too tired for this mess. Numerous times I have given up on the idea of a relationship with men and have courted women only to break things off because my manhood was still jumpin over biceps and pecs. When I met this man, I knew it would be a roller coaster of a ride with him cause we was just around each other too damn much. If I can turn back time, I would have just spared him all the BS he tried to bring into this talking about monogamy and family and stuck to my guns about us just having a sexual relationship. I have shut down so many clowns before in my past why did I let this one slip? Was it his dark skin and chubby cheeks? His smile? Was I sprung like T-Pain? What the hell was it? I need to find out soon so that this doesn’t happen again.

Also….I’m shaking cause I’m hungry!!! (Monique on Queens of Comedy) LOL I can’t wait to get out to Cali and strut my stuff. All this work GOTS to pay off! My legs feel like two wooden stilts on my body. AAGGH!! Why is my sister moving up her wedding to April! I’m so hot about it. It was supposed to be in September when I would have already been in Cali. So of course it would break her heart if I didn’t make it up there and they have pulled every scheme in the book to have me just stay up there for good even though I bought a round trip ticket.(the original plan was to go in June). I’m thinking WTF why not? I’m so ashamed of myself that one of the main reasons I was holding on to going in June was that I wanted to be near SO in hopes that we would still work. What kind of punk shit is that? I’m the one always there to let people know not to let others hold you back from accomplishing your goals. I need to take my own advice. Here I am pussy footin around the fact that I have way more important shit on my plate. So I have to start taking care of business fast this month. I got to sell 2 cars and a bunch of furniture before I jump ship on ATL so people pray for me this will be a long 30 days.

CrunkSpot:
“Temperature” Sean Paul

Free Kim

2006-02-27T10:34:00.000-05:00

So much has been going on that I almost forgot I had a blog. I wouldn’t say that it was so much but has been enough to keep me busy. My morning workout has been really keeping me on my toes. This is a big deal to me because I am definitely NOT a morning person and this was my own personal challenge to get up at 5AM every day before work. Today is officially week 3 of the AM transition and so far I have lost 7 of the 30 lbs I need to get off my body before summer comes around. Real excited about this. Work has been work, same ish different day. Been doing good staying away from the one nighters as well so I can honestly say I am doing real good on my resolutions for the year. Go figure! I usually steer away from a New Year resolution by the second week of January so I’m proud of myself for this.

When is Kim getting the hell out of jail? She has been locked up and won’t let her out like Akon fo’ real! I’ve heard so many different variations of her release date. Technically it’s supposed to be sometime in September since that would have made her “one year and one day” sentence the judge proposed a few months ago. Then I have heard through the grapevine it may be early June if she gets out on good behavior and then a friend of a friend of a friend who knows a friend said it may be April. WTF? All I know is that I’ve been there, done that and I KNOW Kim is ready to get the hell out of dodge and I hope she is let out as soon as possible. BET will syndicate her up and coming reality show called “Countdown to Lockdown” and it should be premiering March 9th. BET will also be putting out two other reality shows one featuring college students and the other has to do with the church if I’m not mistaken. Also, set to air this month is UPN’s ANTM and VH1’s Surreal Life. I know, I watch too much TV but I am so glad some of the other reality shows I have been keeping up with are wrapping up. For instance Celebrity Fit Club 3. The first one was kind of interesting but I cannot stand the host, Ant. There were some interesting people on this season but it seemed as if most lacked enthusiasm, especially Tempest Bledsoe. What in the world happened to the sweet and lovable Denise Huxtable? She was really showing her ass on the show with all that attitude. A part of me wants to say that I am kind of sad Flava Flav’s show is wrapping things up too. That show was really something else. I also had the chance to watch the previews for Real World Key West, which is set to air this Tuesday night. Hopefully this one will be better than RW Austin, cause that one was a joke. The characters on this season seem like it will pull in some ratings, especially the hot Russian chick and this shawty named Jose who is lookin hella good. I like the fact that they were taping the show when all three hurricanes hit last summer, it doesn’t get any more real than that. I’m a FL native so I enjoy when reality shows tape out there, especially when they did RW Miami cause that one was hot too. It looks like we will have much to watch and talk about in the next couple of months with this brand new batch of reality shows coming soon.

I’m very upset at Mr. D because we have been planning this trip to Sizzle 2006 since October. To all those who are not aware it is Black/Latino pride in South Beach, Miami and they hold it every year on Memorial Day weekend. My ex is a guest djay at one of the circuit parties and got me a real good rate on the host hotel, but because all rooms are booked this was, like, an urgent matter that we send him our money by the end of last week. Well it turns out that he has to move around that time and he doesn’t think he can swing his half of the flight/hotel expenses. This really pisses me off because I’ve lost contact with most of my people in Miami since I haven’t been back home in so long, and I would hate to have to show up alone and try to find these people by myself. I’m going to make it this year with Mr. D or not. I get invited every year and every year there is an excuse. Well, not this time. I’m making it to FL this May and not just because I want to party and lay out on the beach with all the fine scenery, but also because I had made it a point to make it there and visit family members while I was out there. I’ll update on how this trip goes.

CrunkSpot:
"Nobody Do It Better Than Us" Lil' Kim feat. T-Boz

Valentine Grinch

2006-02-14T15:04:00.000-05:00

Today started off great. I’ve made the decision to switch up my workout routine to the mornings before I get in to work. I started this yesterday. I’m already loving the benefits. There are several reasons why I believe the AM workout will “work out” better for me in my situation. One of them being the horrible traffic I have to sit in for about an hour and a half before I even get to the gym. That really kills it. And then if the traffic wasn’t enough, then I waste 15-20 minutes waiting on equipment. I hate it. Then when I DO get home, I have missed all my shows (Judge Mathis, Bernie Mac,24,etc) and then it’s too late to eat anything and all I have time for is sleep. Aaargh! I am so much more comfortable with the AM exercises. Hardly anyone is there, so I almost have the whole gym to myself. I have all afternoon to do whatever I want, eat early, and still have time to watch television. I’m really liking it so far only thing is now I am getting up at 5:15 am and anybody that knows me knows I am NOT a morning person. I am going to try my best to stick to the new plan and be disciplined.

My mind is at a loss today, I think it’s all the red balloons and flowers and chocolates going around today. My brain is on RED overload. I never thought I would be a Valentine Grinch but I think this year I am. What is going on? Where is the romantic in me? Why am I NOT feeling the love this year? Well I had some down time at work so I figured I would reminisce some of my favorite sappy love songs. I might go home, download em, and send someone a mix CD for valentine’s day? SIKE…maybe not.

"Knocks Me Off My Feet" Stevie Wonder
"Sweetheart" Mariah Carey feat J Dupri
"Slow Motion" Jagged Edge
"Anything" Jaheim
"Far Away" Kindred
"Angel of Mine" Monica
"Here and Now" Luther Vandross
"Every Time I Close My Eyes" Babyface
"Angel" Anita Baker
"I’ll Give All My Love To You" Keith Sweat
"If It Isn't Love" New Edition
"Love of My Life" Brian McKnight
"At This Moment" Billy Vera & The Beaters
"Nothing Even Matters"Lauryn Hill and D’angelo
"You Are Everything" Mary J Blige

CrunkSpot:
“Git It” Bun B feat Ying Yang Twins

My Employer's Company Policy

2006-02-09T13:07:00.000-05:00

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

Company Policy is as follows:
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

CrunkSpot:
"Shoulder Lean" Young Dro feat T.I.

Fade Me Up Shawty

2006-02-07T11:15:00.000-05:00

So I never went to the movies with Eastside. I got all lined up, so fresh and so clean only for us to hang out at his crib and mess each other up on Mortal Kombat. Sometime between the time I got there and after a few rounds of Kombat I started to realize maybe going to see a movie wouldn’t be such a great idea. So instead we kind of just hung out and I was saved by the bell by Mr. D who called and asked me to meet him, his date, and Marya and friends at Chili’s. So much for that date, you know, but the hell with it. Having spent time with Eastside I made the conclusion I will have to put him in the friend zone. I have valid reason to. So during my time with D and friends at Chili’s I was thinking to myself that I should have taken Marya out to the movies instead. THAT would have been more like the date I was feening for. LOL We had such a good time downing Martini’s and eating buffalo wings we almost forgot about Mr. D and his date. Mr. D and his date sat at one table and Marya and I at another and there was another small group of us at another table. Mr. D said Marya and I looked good together and how could he be wrong? We were both just too fine for our own good. She has such a great personality, we made each other laugh the whole time. Marya is very beautiful with deep cocoa skin and radiant brown eyes and she was looking on point that night too, but a hook up would never happen because we are just friends.

So that’s pretty much how Saturday night went. I hung out at the barber shop earlier that day and also had a great workout at the gym. Speaking of barber shops I’m thinking if I DO end up moving up outta ATL I’m going to have to find another barber again. I’ve been going to the same guy for 4 years and I haven’t been able to find a barber who can line me up better than him. Why are good barbers hard to find in ATL? The guy I go to is about 25 miles from where I live. He used to be closer when I lived in the southern part of the city but when I moved northward last year to another apartment it put me a little over 25 miles from his shop. I wish he would make house calls, it would save me a lot of gas in my car. So I went to this one guy a few months ago who was a lot closer to where I live and I absolutely hated the cut. I had to go home and redo my own line up. It was ridiculous. However something kind of told me ahead of time that he wouldn’t be any good. I’m not too sure if it was the outdated Barkley poster on the wall or the fact that it was just only one person in front of me. You know you’re about to get cut by a good barber if you have to wait 1-2 whole hours before you get your haircut. It’s a given. A barber with very little business, especially on a Saturday morning in ATL, is more than likely NOT a good barber. Just my experience. However my barber is really on my payroll cause I’m in his chair EVERY week. I’ve heard before that there’s something about a haircut that makes a man feel more presentable and more good about himself. I concur and I know I’m getting my money’s worth because my week is NOT right without a haircut. I’m dreading my travel plans this summer because I will be in CA first and then FL, folks is getting married, and I sure hope my brother or cousin know some good barbers who can fade a brotha up. How about celebrities who have their own folk traveling with them? I’m thinking when I become a celebrity I will have to hire my own personal barber like the rest of them do and save a lot of time and trouble.

Valentine is around the corner have you been shot by cupid? I have plans set on wooing over my out of town crush Jersey,my boy in PA. He’s coming to the ATL by the end of this month for a week and I can hardly wait to see him. I might even send him something for Valentine’s, since I’m not having any luck finding a quality date in this dam city. My mother’s getting flowers for sure. Or chocolate. Flowers or chocolate? It will have to be courier’ed (is that a word) since she is in CA so I’m thinking flowers cause chocolate will probably melt. Anyway she will be so excited cause she just moved to a new house and she doesn’t even know I have her new address yet cause I asked my sister for it. If anyone is any more deserving of all this love and energy I have this year for Valentine it would definitely be my mom.

CrunkSpot:
“Your Behind” Trey Songz

Dating Scorpio and the Eastside

2006-02-03T00:16:00.000-05:00

Do you remember your first date? I used to have a lot of crushes when I was in middle school and I was notorious for that around the girls. I started kind of young. It wasn't of sexual intent back then, my mind wasn’t even on that (as much). It was more of a schoolyard crush kind of thing, can I carry your books? Is your mom still on the phone? Do you have permission to go out tonight, that kind of thing. Well, I remember there was this puertorican chic who moved in across the street from me, and she was like off limits because her family were kind of stuck up and not social. I grew up in a neighborhood with mostly boys around my same age, so I guess her family had her own reasons for kind of shielding her from us all the time. I mean, she went straight home from school and that’s all she wrote. Well anyway to make a long story short I was the bold one who started talking to the chic and found out her name (call her Scopio for now) and asked her out on, what I can remember, one of my first "real dates". It’s so funny I still remember stuff like this. All the ganja I done had in my past might have me forgettin some of this so it’s important I write this down LOL. We went on this date and I remember all about it. We went to see “Sleeping with the Enemy” with Julia Roberts and I had popcorn (to this day I have to have popcorn) and she had a Crunch bar. After the movie, we walked the mall and my aunt picked us up and then we hung out some more at my house. We “made out” in my grandmother’s backyard that day. All was good for a few short months and then her mother moved again and that was the end of it. We ended up running into each other again as I got older, and she was stripping, and hanging out with the wrong crowd and I can go on and on about Scorpio, but this ain’t about her right now. Maybe I will post about her later but the point I was trying to make is that I do remember that first date and it’s sketched in my memory. She used to scribble a lot of “(her name) heart (my name) 4ever” in my school books and I remember reading that a few years ago going through some real old stuff. LOL, what happened to 4ever? I also found a cassette tape I made for her back then with a whole bunch of old Stevie B, New Edition, TKA, Tommy Page (remember him), Bobby, yeah they was all on the tape. It really took me back! If only I can talk to her now…last time we talked was about 6 years ago so only time will tell.

Anyway this weekend I will be venturing on a different kind of date. Not anything like the one above, but I haven’t really gone on a real date in a long time. SO and I would hang out but they never really felt like dates. It was more like, “do you want to do this today" type of thing. We had some good times but I’m taking about an old fashioned date with Eastside. I met Eastside last year but never gave too much attention cause I was caught up like Ursher. I’ve been on outings with others that kind of felt like dates, but it was like I was never really there because my thoughts would be on someone else. Most of my “dates” haven't been classy at all. It would often lead to some type of action and there goes a good ole fashioned date. However this time things will be different. Eastside can have my full attention now. We're calling this a date and we want to go to dinner and a movie in one of the nicer parts of town. Eastside is hot I will really promise to try to keep my hands off of them. I did say TRY, operative word here. LOL. They want to see “Something New” and I want to see “Underworld”. They was like we can see both. Oh, really, I haven’t movie hopped since I was 16. There some ghetto in him cause he’s from Miami too and it wouldn’t surprise me if that was his intent. Don’t even front because what are we supposed to do, leave the theater after one movie only to stand in line AGAIN and pay AGAIN for another one. There some ghetto in me too if we have to movie hop we will, I don’t care. I've given thousands and thousands of dollars to the movie industry if I add it all up. It would be our way of stickin it to the man, LOL, right. No, actually what I’m talking about is me trying things different for the ‘06. No longer looking for anything other than some normalcy. I’m really going to be doing me this year and try to live life right. I would like for us to just have a good ole fashioned date, nothing more, nothing less. I’ll let you know how it works out.

CrunkSpot:
"Two Fingers" David Banner feat. Jagged Edge

A LETTER TO MRS. KING

2006-01-31T14:02:00.000-05:00

CORETTA SCOTT KING

1927-2006

I woke up this morning to images of your beautiful face on my television. There was coverage on your life and legacy and immediately my knees began to buckle. No, I said to myself, I couldn’t believe it. I ran to my PC and checked the local news, and it confirmed it. You have passed away and have now gone to a better place. They say a man’s not supposed to cry but this man right here felt the tears as if it were his own mother. You were an icon in your own right, and the African American community embraced you and your family as the First Family of Civil Rights. Thanks to the work pioneered through Mr. King, we live in a time where people of all races, color, and gender are beginning to be accepted into society for what they stand for, as opposed to their physical attributes. Although I am a full blooded latino, my dad was a very dark skinned colored man. He was shot to his own death months before I was born, and growing up I often wondered what this life is about. Is it about money and power? It couldn’t be, because my father had plenty of it, and still passed. It definitely couldn’t be about eternal living so what is this thing called life? Is there a purpose? Thanks to icons like yourself I had people to look up to and admire that provided answers to some of these questions.

My own mother wasn’t around to watch me grow up because she gave legal rights to my godmother, a friend of my father’s, at only a few months of age. She was an older woman who was also latino of color. She always taught me how important it was that I carry myself as a man. She taught me chivalrous ideals and thanks to her, I remember to always open a door for a woman, whether it be on a date or for a coworker on her way into the building, always give up my seat to women, children, and elderly, always respect others, and be ready to fight and protect for what’s yours, because as my godmother taught me, there will be those who carry evil and envy in their hearts and that we have to pray for those people. My godmother felt it was important that I understood what type of man my father was, and I remember to this day how she would tell me stories about his life and how he treated others and it was such a blessing to have her and his memories in my life. Although my father was not a part of America’s Civil Rights Movement, he fought battles of his own. Being a person of color in Communist Cuba’s 1960’s era was certainly not a walk in the park either. The Hispanic community has a myriad of skin tones and color and we, as latin people, still to this day hold stereotypes and prejudices over our VERY OWN. My mother allowed this loving woman to raise me years ago because she, as a lighter skinned latin woman, was well aware of the tribulation and adversities she would face raising a “black” baby on her own, despite the fact that I was just as Cuban as she and her family are. Despite the fact that she already had her first son, my older brother, to a light skinned Cuban man, and her side of the family kept him around, but not me. Today, Mrs. King, we live in a world free of these prejudices. Today I can forgive my mother for her mistakes and I can have the relationship I always wanted with my family. Especially my older brother and I, who have always been very close growing up, despite the fact that we were raised by two different families. My family, along with most of the world, has gotten past some of these adversities, but sometimes everyday people lead me to believe that we still have some more to go.

Mrs. King, you have traveled the world and touched many people’s heart and lives. The same glow I watch that lived in your eyes lived in my godmother’s as well. You are people with a purpose, and a calling. I am a strong believer in that everything we experience has reason. I believe God delivers people in our lives with a purpose. My godmother did such a good job raising me into the honest and God fearing man that I am today. Beyond my faults and flaws I know my father lives in me and that I have a good and sincere heart thanks to her. Both of you are so similar in purpose because you have done the same with your own life and children. Mrs. King I believe people will remember you as a historic icon of our time and your name will be kept alive through the continued work of your closest friends and family, God willing. I never had a chance to meet you in person, but watching you in the media I can tell what an honor it was for others to be in your presence. You had that glow that made people recognize they were in the presence of greatness. Mrs. King thank you for the memories and for carrying the torch your husband left behind for so many years. Not only were you an important figure to the Civil Rights Movement, you also fought for human rights, women, gays, latinos, and the poor. You understood what it meant to live life with a purpose, and have inspired others to do the same. Without the contribution of your efforts and others, my mother and father would probably have not had met, and I wouldn’t be here. And if I WAS here, and a latino of color, I may have not been able to sit here and type this letter to you, and share this with others worldwide who are also keeping this day as a day of reflection and prayer. You left us Coretta Scott KING, but in my eyes and heart you are truly a QUEEN and a true exemplification of a woman. May you rest in peace and God bless your soul.

Guestbook
"The Battle is the Lord's" Yolanda Adams

I'm a King...

2006-01-30T01:15:00.000-05:00

I'm a King...

"Connected nationwide within the south, just respect it and keep my name out your mouth.." (I'm a King, PSC) OK, not really royalty yet, but I sure think I am in this shot. This is latino mean muggin' at it's phynest LOL!
*heavy sigh*
... Soforeal was sodam bored this weekend. You can tell I had too much time on my hands. So I got to doing some thinking and I realized today I gotta get out of ATL for a while. I know I will be doing some traveling this summer, first to Miami in July and then to California right after for a few months. I’m only supposed to be there for a month or two on business but depending how things go I might just end up living there again. I really enjoy living in Atlanta but to be honest I was really looking for the closest thing to a city to Miami that was not actually in Florida. During my 4 year tenure here in ATL I have seen and experienced things that often made me question my motives in this city. I do feel a sense of gratitude to the blessings given to me since I have moved here. I landed a good job and evolved into manhood as I matured and grew more of a person both physically and mental. HOWEVER….I am really missing the beach. I mean it's accessible by plane but I miss having it close by. Having grown up in Miami I got sort of spoiled to the sun and the ocean and have grown to really enjoy all that has to do with it, for example rollerblading and jet skiing. I lived in CA for a while and when I was there I fell in love with Venice and Santa Monica beach. I relished the warm weather and beautiful people and I was just in total awe. I lived in the Mid Wilshire district and my boy and I would ditch our cars and take the Metro Rapid down the boulevard straight to the beach almost every weekend. So when I went back for the holidays, even though it was a very short stay I realized how much of it I missed. Then it led me to start evaluating what I had here. A few good friendships, mainly co-workers, a few jumpoffs, a great career. But is this it? Do I want to compromise my happiness for a few extra g's a year? I ran from California because the cost of living was so high but the saying is true that "you get what you pay for". Now that I am realizing that the cost of living is catching up to the west coast I am really re-evaluating some ish. My mother wants me to stay for good because she knows I would be very successful doing real estate with the family and I know I would prove her right, but I would have to readjust all over again. I have little complaints about Georgia the people have been very good to me and being originally from FL it quickly became a second home. My only beef with the town is its amenities. Or in this case, lack of.

So…I believe that this opportunity to travel this summer and having my family around is what's driving me to push harder on this working out and eating healthy tip. My mother’s doing it also, we kind of set a goal for the summer since we’re having two weddings going on in the family. Making it a lifestyle change is probably the best thing I could have ever done for myself because it came at a time when I would have gone into a slump. I feel so much better about myself because I am looking great and already seeing improvements in a lot of areas in my life. For example I’ve been able to be less stressed at work and I sleep a lot better at night. When people say diet and exercise make you feel like a new person, they couldn’t be any more sincere. So, I’m going to keep it up cause I'm feeling so great about myself. The only thing is I can give up the sugar and sodas, but it's so dam hard to say good bye to fried chicken. LOL. One of the things that’s working for me is to have a cheat day. Which for me, is Sunday, when I get to eat whatever in moderation. That way I have something to look forward to during the week while keeping my eye on the prize.

CrunkSpot:
"Already" Slim Thug feat. Trey Songz

M.I.A..

2006-01-24T11:35:00.000-05:00

“It’s been a long time, I shouldn’t left you, without a dope beat to step to.” LOL, I’ve been MIA (missing in action) for quite some time but I’m back. All is good. I got an IPOD for the holidays and that has been taking up most of my online time at home. I’m also constructing a Soforeal original, CrunkSpot, where I will be able to express myself through lyrics and song. I’ve been transferring most of my CD’s over the past few days to my MP3 so I can jam to all these tunes at the gym. Oh yeah, that’s another thing, I’ve been getting to the gym at LEAST three times a week so far this month. So I’m very happy about that, and I expect to keep it up as long as possible, or until I get to my desired body frame then I can work out less vigorously.

Two weeks ago SO came by and took all his shit. He’s supposed have moved into an apartment with a roommate. I’m not even going to front, it was one of those things where I know he needed to go, but a part of me had gotten used to him being around. He will be missed, but it was about time we stopped playing house. We obviously are not on the same page here, and I just really wish him the best. So, to help release all this built up frustrations, I have been concentrating more on my writing, my hobby in music, and definitely working out and eating healthier. I cut out a lot of sugars and I’m staying away from sodas and carbonated drinks and I’m already starting to look and feel better.

I’m really excited because I know I will have my new and improved look by the summer. My cousin is getting married in July and my sister in September! AARGH! All these weddings. However to sum up this post, it’s been a while, but I am definitely BLESSED. Being blessed with good health, consistency with family, good friends, knowledge, wisdom, energy, if only I can be touched a little bit more by the money angel I would be SOO straight, but even so it’s still all good, because a brotha is maintaining. I’m not the only one blessed here, remember those talented Brittenum twins on American Idol that were getting all their bad publicity regarding an identity theft charge? Yeah, they got signed on to J Dupri’s ATL based SoSoDef label this morning! The condition was, of course, that they stay out of trouble, which I believe they will after receiving this blessing. God is Good.

CrunkSpot:
"No More Rain" Angie Stone

Cum on Homie, We Major

2006-01-09T12:04:00.000-05:00

Well I haven’t been posting for a while and it’s because I have been feeling a bit under the weather the past couple of days. Quick shout out to Mr. Trent Jackson who didn’t care how fucked up I sounded and took the time to talk to me anyway. I was heavily induced by a mixture of tea, Nyquil, and kryptonite so I hope I didn't say anything that can or will be used against me in a court of law! LOL Thanks for the convo man, you made me laugh when I felt like crap.

So things have been looking up I am starting to feel better and I had a good weekend. Unfortunately, Mr. D and I are having a “falling out”. I trusted Mr. D with something that was of great importance to me financially and he was extremely irresponsible. I guess the saying is very true “if you need to get something done right, do it yourself”. I don’t know why I keep bumping my head against the same wall when it comes to this essential lesson in life but I really hope Mr. D gets some type of clue of what it means to be an adult in the real world. I know it definitely will not be on my expense, so he and I are not communicating right at the moment. They say to do those things yourself because if you dont, and then that other person fuck up, then it's your OWN responsiblity for putting it on someone else. And I won't be mad for too long. I’m not one to hold grudges so I don’t expect for this to carry on too much longer than it should. The fact that I have more important issues on my plate makes it easier for me to keep my distance.

I made it a blockbuster night on Friday. I rented Four Brothers and The Gospel, two very good movies. I wasn’t all that thrilled with Four Brothers as I was with The Gospel. I recommend anyone who hasn’t seen it yet to go out and get it. It was a very uplifting movie I saw a lot of myself in the character played by Kodjoe. I already had the soundtrack so it was good to see the movie play it out.

So some friends and I gave a surprise birthday party for my friend Shortcake on Saturday. Her aunt and some peeps took her to dinner while I went to the nightclub where we were ALL going to surprise her at afterwards. It was a str8 function at one of the trendier clubs in Buckhead ATL, but the actions from some of the guests there tried to prove it otherwise. Nothing is always so str8 and narrow in this messy city. Nevertheless the night was really all about Shortcake; she was really surprised to see us all there and it went exactly as planned. I am so glad she had a good time, she really deserved it.

So is it me or is anyone as shocked as I am to see the mess VH1 has created with “Flava of Love”. LOL That man is a riot. I don’t now where he found these females at but they are OFF the chain. There’s one that got cut last night, with some golden braids, and she was a mess. She had a fit in the van and went off on some other girl named New York and made herself look so ridiculous. I almost want to say I’m ashamed of watching this mess but I am actually enjoying these women act a fool.

I was feeling Major like Kanye this weekend: “Feeling better than some head on a Sunday afternoon, better than a chick that say yes to soon…” you know the rest. Well I got that and then some on Sunday so I guess that was my weekend track. Part of my resolution this year, aside from getting more fit and eating right, is to stop having anonymous sex. Sunday was good no complaints there, but I know it was more about my own personal frustrations than it was for the sex itself so I need to start finding more productive outlets to work these things out. I need to focus more on my writing and music. I want to do more with music on my blog so look out for that in the future. My attempt is to find something original so it doesn’t look like I’m trying to copy anyone or shit like that. You know how some folks can be.

Manager's Etiquette 101

2006-01-03T10:11:00.000-05:00

Is it me or does it not feel like a new year? Today does but it didn’t feel like one yesterday. I wasn’t feeling much at all yesterday morning because I called in sick to work. I wasn’t clinically ill but my mind and body was tired. I think maybe I was still recovering from jet lag from last weekend when I had to conform my body rest from EST to PST within just a few days difference. Many people were off yesterday, like banks, other offices, etc. so why weren’t we? I work for an insurance company and if it’s not a major holiday-we are working. So this is how our conversation went yesterday morning..

Manager: Good morning this is (his name) may I help you?

Soforeal: Yes, good morning (his name) I’m sorry but I am not feeling well today at all. I have had a high fever all last night and this morning I woke up extremely congested. It hurts when I speak.

Manager: Uh-huh.

5 second delay….

Soforeal: I’m going to hope I can get better today so I can come in tomorrow. Is that alright?

Manager: Yep.

Soforeal: Okay thank you.

Manager hangs up.

Lord knows I am not an irresponsible person so this kind of takes me by surprise. I started working for this “company” last summer and I know this is only the second time I call in sick. The first time the conversation was very similar. It’s dry and inconsiderate. Sounds like they need a course in Manager's Etiquette 101. I mean damn at least try to pretend to be concerned for my well being. I don’t care that you think I’m trying to extend a holiday weekend on a day I’m supposed to be at work, but at least say "hope you feel better" if you don't really mean it. Maybe manager was just giving me a dose of soforeal by not faking the funk, but I got real with it too and went straight back to sleep when that awful conversation was over. It's not phasing me though. I’m not even going to discuss the whole tuition reimbursement drama that went down last month before year end either. There are things about this “company” that get on my nerve but the funny thing about it is that the "company" is one of the stressors I let go and let God about for the new year. Only because I know He has something in the works for me. There will be some changes this year and it may or may not include this “company”, so I’m not really trippen on them for the 06. I just thought that it’s funny that people act like this at the workplace. So anyway I did get some much needed rest for a second day in a row yesterday and now I am fully recovered and ready to start this work week. Not much has been going on but my PC at home is trippen so I haven’t been able to use any of my messengers or check my personal email until later this week-that really sucks. Also yesterday morning I made a swift comment to SO about having to get on the ball on his move. I really have been considering the business I got to handle in CA as a priority and I would hate to leave SO behind in a predicament where he felt like he wasn’t given enough time. He came to the Soforeal domain in November, so we are quickly approaching 90 days. He went to look for apartments yesterday while I stayed at home and enjoyed sleep in my own bed with my own self for the first time this year.

JUST SAYIN THANKS...

2005-12-30T16:05:00.000-05:00

This will be the last entry I post for the year so I’m going to take the time and give thanks and dish credit where it's due. This year has been bitter sweet in many aspects of life. I have been blessed by the Lord to live to see another year, but the unfortunate truth is that many have not. We have experienced losing loved ones, those who lost what they’ve worked for, displaced people, an unresponsive government, natural disasters, etc. However at the same time I also saw the good in many people, including myself. It was tough, and still is, but it does good to the heart to see that among the bad and unfortunate news there were also counts of people opening their hearts, pockets, and homes to help those less fortunate. In my own personal world I made some improvements to self. I have resumed my coursework towards my degree this year after a 4 year break from college. I have been able to look past people’s mistakes and ingest them as a learning lesson. I was introduced to blogging that consequently motivated me to continue a forgotten hobby in writing. Best of all, I finally made amends with my estranged family that I lost contact with in over 4 years, and it was the best way to start the up and coming year. Never would I have thought that I would have all these blessings come my way over the course of these past 12 months, and it is quite evident there is only one Man, Creator, Savior, to thank for. THANK YOU for allowing me to spend the Christmas holiday with my beautiful niece and nephew and family only You know I have missed for so long. THANK YOU for allowing me to see past the evil and hurt that attempted to block my vision this year. THANK YOU so very much.

I would also like to start 2006 by getting some ish off my chest while I’m out here. First off this blog experience has been amazing in so many aspects. What a feeling it was to discover there are other men and women on this earth who are faced with the same day to day issues as I. I can’t even remember how I was first turned on to blogging, but I do remember reading through different people’s thoughts and experiences and thinking-this is what I have been looking for all along. For years I would write material only to share it with “jump offs” or other kats, bootie calls, who were not interested in it at all. I would share a piece I had wrote or some passionate poetry, and all I can read in their eyes in a blank STARE was “when are you going to just shut up and fuck me”.

Through this blog not only can I keep a journal for myself but I can also share my talent with those from people from all over the place. Everyone’s blog is so unique and original in its own respect. SoI have finally put up what I call a Peoples Corner. I was tired of just browsing my way through others blogs and I wanted easy access to blogs of interest (in no particular order). There are many people whose lives I find not only interesting but also motivating, so if you’re on there it's for a good reason. Of course I will be adding more to the mix, this is just what I have come up with so far. I expect to meet many more inspiring individuals through my blogging experience and I hope my own thoughts and accounts can motivate others going through a similar time in their life. There may be some occassions where I might post something that might be taken offensive or out of context, please do not take it personal. I found that blogging came more at ease for me when I started to realize the material on here is for my own self. Not to impress some of you sexy men and women I have discovered through others links/comments, but to provide some type of “breadcrumb” trail to my journey into adulthood. Everyday I am faced with issues that test my faith and man hood, and I believe part of the growing process is the importance of being able to look back; not to dwell in it but to learn from the experience. With that being said, there is a special shout out I’m sending to all the bloggers that have inspired me to continue to work on my writing skills as a hobby. THANK YOU for giving me an outlet out of A4A, M4N, BP, etc. Thank you for reading and providing feedback on my writing, instead of revealing that blank STARE I was running from for quite a while.

Have a safe and Blessed New Year

Family Matters

2005-12-29T10:31:00.000-05:00

I have safely returned from my short trip to California however a whole lot has been going on in the world of soforeal. How about last Friday night my flight ended in Ontario, CA at around 11:10pm which makes it 2:10am ATL time. So you know I was tired. But why did America West lose my luggage? I was so heated. And I wasn’t the only one with lost luggage, there were about 10 other passengers from ATL whose luggage they had lost as well. So I filled out some baggage claim form but to sum it up my bag was not delivered to my brother’s house until late Sunday afternoon so I spent all weekend without my clothes. We left Saturday morning to San Diego so I had to go and buy brand new clothing. I’m talking about shirts, jeans right down to my socks and drawers. It was real inconvenient. However my lost luggage could not damper the feeling I had when my 4 year old niece instantly recognized who I was at the airport gate. The last time I had seen her she was JUST born, maybe about 6 or 7 months old. So for her to instantly recognize her estranged uncle was one of the best feelings I had all weekend. Spending time with my nephew and brother made it all better as well. Why does my six year old nephew know most of the words to Franchize Boys and 50 cent? And why was he hollarin out “shawtee” to some overgrown woman at the mall on Saturday? LOL The little man is a riot.

We finally got to my sister’s house in San Diego late Saturday afternoon after taking care of some business with my brother. My grandmother cooked a traditional Cuban dinner man I missed that food so much. After dinner we exchanged gifts. The best part was watching my nephew and niece open their presents. My nephew’s favorite was a PSP my brother got him and my niece’s favorite was a doll and some wig and microphone set that came with it. She did ask the grown folks if we can ask Santa to bring her more toys than clothes next year. Can you believe her? We took a million pictures of them and then took our butts to bed that night.

The issue I have now is that my family is trying to convince me to move back to California. I had distanced myself for some time but now that I have made good with them I am reconsidering their suggestion. It’s not only because I am getting tired of holding my tongue out on SO and it’s not only because I feel like I’m at a dead end job. I have some business I left behind in CA that is very important and needs to be handled as soon as possible or else my ass will end up in jail again. So, the situation is that I’m here in ATL, and I can address those issues from home however it will take quite a while. Another year or so? I have been trying to patch it up for about 2 years now, and it seems like I will get better results if I just face these issues and address them the proper way in CA how I’m supposed to. However I’m thinking do I have anything worth staying for in ATL? I have my feelings for SO but its obvious we are not anywhere near a relationship. I have absolutely no family here in ATL and if I went back to CA, it’s a possibility that I come back to ATL if need be, but it’s likely that I won’t. Only because my mother and sister are doing real good with the mortgage business over there and if it works out for me, I might stay longer than expected. So, what does a man like me do? All I have in ATL are countless bootie calls and hopes that SO and I will be something more than just friends. So I have the obvious right in front of my face, but I also have a home, job and car I worked so hard for in this tired city that I can’t seem to give up that easy. I don’t know what it is but as soon as I returned Monday night I started to realize that SO and our live in situation is not such a hot idea. I don’t know how much longer I can tolerate this invasion of privacy in exchange for a mere inkling of hope that one day I can give up fucking everyone else and someday make a commitment. Because of the issues I have to take care of in CA, am I, myself, ready for a relationship? How can I expect something from someone when I am not sure if I can give it myself?
Anyway I try not to make this too lengthy but I have a whole lot on my mind lately and I feel a change is coming for the 06.

***Pic above from left to right: sis, niece, nephew

DisStilled

2005-12-23T11:02:00.000-05:00

As I lay in this still
sheer satisfaction
lookin out my private window sill
I filled you in these sheets, I breathed you
Still
you’re gone now
not that long now
but now alone
makes no damn sense
this detriment…
no sex now, some sweat now
trickin down my heavy brow
I held
my large endow-
ment
still stiff, rock hard
from the still of last nite
stroking your insides way deep
U felt out of sight
but still I see
In the still
I taste you, and spread
legs... all up on my bed
abysmal kisses instead
deep in you, licking in you
slowly kissin inside ur thighs
this finger stroke remix reprise
against the wall we fuck
something you can feel
ache in pleasure and pain surreal
you felt my dick was soforeal
like Cola I got the real
Thing
Jagged big thrill
like something
like a pill
so wrong but so right
I want you still

Pic Yo Afro Mami...

2005-12-22T11:11:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I leave for California and I couldn’t be any more excited. However, can someone please explain to me why the TSA waits until the holiday rush to lift restrictions on small scissors and tools aboard flights? I’m wondering why they didn’t wait until at least January or February when the holidays are over. Dam near 300 thousand people will be in and out of ATL’s Hartfield airport, so I’m planning on getting there extremely early. Alright in NY there is a mass transit strike going on forcing millions of people to travel on foot in near freezing temperatures. Man its way too cold for the MTA to be trippin like this. However, I understand that there are both sides. I can see the frustration in their need to have to unite and strike, sometimes it takes extreme measures such as these to get a voice heard. It is unfortunate others have to suffer while this is going on. I think that the mass group of transit employees must have friends and relatives who also ride public transportation, so I’m thinking the city employees probably don’t want this inconvenience to continue any longer than it should. I parked my car today at the train station and walked a half a mile to work in 27 degree weather and it was NOT a pleasant walk. I could not even imagine having to walk miles and miles into work, so I hope and pray that a resolution is soon to come.

On a brigher note, MJB released The Breakthrough on December 20. I heard on a radio interview how she commented on the RNB newbie chicks in the game. She makes a comment on how she has always been more than music, and how she never had a chance to hide her pain and troubles from the public as those other chicks attempted to do. She went from drugs, to abuse, low self esteem, etc all in the public eye. In a way I feel I went through the fire with Mary because I also had issues with drugs and alcohol not too long ago. I do party ever so often but not to the extreme as before. A few years ago it was real bad to the point where I was letting it ruin my life. I grew in the streets of Miami when the rave scene used to be hype, none of this mainstream “candy kids”, lollipop and pacifier junkie kids, but the underground hip hop and breakdance parties. I’ve experimented with the most extreme of party drugs. To be honest, I’m at a point where I’m grateful to even be alive. I know the joy Mary feels in her soul knowing that she has gotten rid of those evil spirits because I feel it the same. I thank her and other role modes for the inspiration. I hope others that are going through it right now can turn to positive role models as well and learn from others experiences and mistakes. I am so glad Mary has gotten herself together, as she really is a true music icon for our generation. Jamie Foxx and the BIG collabo album also came out this week.

I might take some pics while I’m out on the Westside and share with the blogworld. I’m real excited that I reunited with my family at this time of year. I can hardly wait to see my niece and nephew and how much they’ve grown. I know time will fly real fast because I won’t be able to stay as long, so I’m going to make sure I make the best of every minute I’m over there. So tonight, I’m off to see one of my favorite men in the ATL, my barber. I’ve been holding out till right before I leave tomorrow, so I’ve been looking kinda ruff lately. LOL. The females at work be like "we’re not used to seeing you unshaved, when you gonna get ur haircut, dam u lookn ruff brotha, need a shave?", and all this and that. I’m responding in my head to myself like no one makes any comments on yall when yall be coming in to work with your weave half done, scalp revealing micros, or wig ‘FLAT ON ONE SIDE' LOL. I’m also looking forward to some last minute packing. Of course tonight I’m going to have to lay the pipe real good on SO before I leave to make sure I stay on his mind while I’m gone (grins).

What's Goin On

2005-12-18T14:03:00.000-05:00

Friday was a regular day at work, I scooped up SO at his job and went to catch King Kong at the theaters down the street from the house. The movie had great special effects and the acting was good it was just entirely too dam long. It was twice as long as the usual hour and a half movies that have become all too common. Well, at least it kept my attention I really could have sat there and slept after the first hour as tired as I was.

Saturday I took care of some Christmas shopping I had to do for my niece and nephew in CA. Now that I will actually be there, I will be able to get them more stuff my only issue right now is how I’m going to get them on the airplane. It’s not only the luggage that has me worried, it’s also the fact that it will be a flight during the holiday rush, so I’m expecting for it to be very busy at the airports. Also, my nerves get all out of wack when I’m on an airplane so I’m planning on taking some special candy for this trip to knock me the f out. Lol. After the shopping I stopped at blockbuster and rented Mr and Mrs Smith for the 3rd time. What is the deal with this movie? I’ve rented it twice before and the first time I went out of town and left the movie home, so by the time I got back, it was ready for it to go back to bb. Then the second time I could not stay awake all the way through for the life of me, but then again at that time I WAS also getting over a cold so I gave it the benefit of the doubt this third time. Another snoozer. This time I am well and not under any cough medicine so now I KNOW it’s the movie. NOT good.

I got a chance to listen on MJB’s the Breakthrough I think Mary really did it this time. She has a couple of hot tracks on there and the last track, One, which is a duet with Bono, is also hot. That woman has a classic voice that no one can match. They are promoting the shit out this album. At the movie theaters, someone had put up fliers with the album cover and release date in the parking lot. MTV has it on their commercial run because they have it on “The Leak” and you can hear it on their site. She even went off on Mimi Valdes at the Vibe Awards and that was also like, a gateway to read Mimi’s response on the issue who has, guess who, Mary on the cover pushin the Breakthrough. I’m not even mad at her it just makes me love her more but I hope other people are not getting a Mary overdose.

Speaking of Mary overdoses, I am considering giving up the Phillies for 2006. As a New Year’s resolution. Also to eat more healthy and maybe get in the gym more, in exchange for Mary. I have been juggling both for a while, but I know personally I would be more satisfied with my shape if I got it together and focused more on being fit. I’m also going to be more strict with my time management and financial habits. So far this is what I’ve come up with.

One of my real good friends birthday was Saturday. We will call him Doc for now. Doc lives in FL and we have a real interesting relationship. When we met, he was living in ATL and had a man but he was trying to get me involved in the relationship. Doc is tall masculine and dark skinned like I like them. He is really feeling the latino lite skinned brotha in me and things were real hot between he and I for a while but it was just THAT, he and I. No other lover involved. We will call him Bee for now. I was curious and met Bee a few months after I met Doc. Bee was an older kat. He was dark skinned as well but I really could not see myself getting hot over him. To be honest the man was feelin me but it was just as I suspected, he was real sprung over Doc to the point where Doc was real taken care of, and would hate to see Doc leave him over the likes of me. In his eyes, I was the man sleeping with his man and I really don’t think he would have found the notion any more exciting if he were a participant. Not only that, but I was quickly discovering that I myself could not be a participant because I was not real comfortable with the way Bee handled his business. It was some drama this time 2 years ago with these characters man but to make a long story short, Bee and I never found a way to get into each other and Doc and I just kept our friendship to ourselves. Doc is a trip and I’m so glad we became friends because I can appreciate him so much more. I can’t give up TMI too early on Doc, but right now he is not involved with Bee anymore and has moved to Florida. I haven’t seen him in almost a year and we are trying to make plans to see each other soon. He called on Friday and left a message while I was in the movies. So I called him yesterday and he wasn’t home. He’s a mess.

Another character in the mix is my PR brotha Jersey. Jersey lives in Phillie but I’m planning on recruiting him to my personal space soon enuff too. This was one kat I met over the internet and we talked for quite a while before he came to ATL and visit Labor Day weekend. The convo was hot but not as hot as when he finally came to my apartment for a visit. I was really kicking myself because that whole weekend I was so caught up with the other fans that I had missed out on the real prize that was texting me from the telly down the street from my apt the whole weekend. I was just on my own schedule and didn’t really have time to see him until later that week before he left back home. It was obvious how strong of a chemistry there was between us. This was strange because I don’t really get excited over my latino brothas. Even though he is mixed with black his features are more latino than black so this is not common for me. Needless to say this is someone else who will surface in the 06 and I’m really looking forward to an encore.

I can vent some more but I know I got more closets than Kelly. I will spare the details for rite now just know this is whats goin on in the world of soforeal.

S.O. Amazing

2005-12-14T22:56:00.000-05:00

My SO did something amazing last night. We were talking on the phone and I was just going off about going to CA and how long it’s been since I’ve been there and how excited I am and blah blah blah. I was a bit lifted so I know I was really feeling myself in the convo but then all of the sudden he cuts me off. But not in a bad way. He was like he could tell in my voice how more at peace I was with myself now that I have made contact with my family after 4 years. He said he was hoping I would have soon enough because he felt I really needed to be more involved with my famiy. This man never ceases to amaze me because I was thinking the same thing. Only I felt it right after I got off the phone with my mother on Saturday. My response to him was that he was right, and that this trip meant alot especially around Christmas, and so on and so on. So soon enough the conversation ended and I was just left there thinking I appreciate him being more open with me. I’m all about honesty and saying things right now at the moment and not restrain from speaking how you feel so I was really feelin my SO last night. That’s real.

Okay bigger and better things have been happening. I have to set aside some money cause now I need to get me some gear before I go on this trip. I gotta look fresh while I’m in CA. And I’m going to have to get to the gym more. That’s a must. I got to find someone to switch their schedule with me next Friday because the flight leaves at 7:10 and getting off at 5 and rush hour traffic is not going to work. These are just a few of the things I have to do to prep for my trip.

I still haven’t figured out what to do for New Years Eve but I know I will be toe up somewhere at somebody’s bar LOL. I did the gay bars the past couple of years I think this year I will party with the str8 and narrow. I’m eyeing this King Kong movie I might check it out this weekend.

Today we had our Xmas dinner at work. No big deal, just a bunch of dry ass food that was catered. The banana pudding was off the chain though, so that means an extra 20 minutes cardio tomorrow. One thing I was thinking to myself was how some of the employees brought some of their relatives/spouses over for the dinner. I work in a small office of about 50 employees, all mostly Caucasian and over 30. What if SO showed up for the dinner? Man some of them hoes at the job would flip their wig. All but for my girl Tee, she is “family” and also swings both ways. But what about everyone else? It's crazy because it would have worked out, because it's not like he and I can spend Xmas together this year; i'm gonna be away in Cali. We're both masculine and all, but it just would NOT look right. It just reminds me of some of the things that you have to sacrifice when involved with a same sex partner. I know it’s my own choice to have it this way. Certainly my SO would have been welcome, but it would have been in exchange for the strange stares, confused looks, and dropped jaws to the floor. I keep my sex life to myself in the work environment, so they will never see SO at the job. I think no matter how much I can try and play it off like, “oh, that’s my boi” it will only take that ONE ho to entertain the idea and then I would have to go the fcuk off. So, I played with the idea of him being at the dinner in my head for a while as I picked over dry stuffing and bitter cranberries. The best part of this dinner were some of my coworker's children who came to visit the job and that slammin pudding. Oh, and my imaginary Xmas dinner with SO at the job lol. (grins)

Weekend in Review

2005-12-12T21:22:00.000-05:00

This weekend would have to be the best I have had in all year. My days off went by in a flash, but some real good news. I finally got ahold of family that I haven’t spoken to in over 4 years. We kind of estranged ourselves, mainly due to differences in opinion. I planned a last minute trip to California to see my mother and brothers/sisters. I will be leaving on Friday, December 23 and coming back Monday night. I haven’t left ATL since I moved here in 2001 so I’m real excited about flying. I’ll have a lengthy layover in Vegas on the way back, so this is really something to look forward to. Countdown is 11 days.

Besides this great event this past weekend not else been up over here. Mr. D was taken to Cheesecake Factory for his bday on Friday. Went out to have drinks after. Making a mental note NOT to go to Club 708 in Atlanta anymore. The music is hype but for some reason Mr. D keeps insisting on going there the times I do get out. I never really have a good time when I go but I'm glad he was able to enjoy himself. I know it may sound soft but I was kind of thinking of SO most of the time. Only because we had a real rich conversation about family and life like a few minutes before I left the house and it kind of left us hanging when I left. I find it funny because just the other day I posted about CA, and then a few days later my mother responded to my letter I sent to some PO Box she rarely checks. I really was not expecting her to call and I was not expecting this trip but I am so glad that it's happening. The rest of the weekend I just got some much needed rest. I rented some movies and just hung out at home. Other than that, I will have to say it’s a wrap for now.

GHETTOUT

2005-12-07T23:09:00.000-05:00

Today I got to work early but tired. I went to bed later than expected cause SO had me up till late. When I got up this morning he was smiling but not for the reasons I thought. He said I was talking in my sleep. I asked him what did I say and he said he was half asleep himself but he heard me mumbling out loud. It was funny cause I’m like for real, what was I sayin. It made me think of Changing Face’s GHETTOUT “findin numbers in your jeans, you talkin in your sleep..”. LOL. I wonder what makes us talk in our sleep? I could only imagine if you are deep in a dream that feels realistic you may talk aloud some. I can't remember my dream so I dont know what I was talkin bout.

Work was real straight today thanks to SO. I didn’t mind the routine calls with the routine customers asking the same ass question over and over. Not at all today. Another reason is cause I knew tomorrow at 1:00 I start my weekend and it couldn’t get here any sooner. Mr D’s birthday is tomorrow so I got to remember to give him a shout out sometime during the day.

I come home and just the usual, some sit ups, judge mathis, some smoke, etc. I even hooked up some tacos for me and Mr. D. Tonite was also the last night for Top Model and I haven’t been catching much of it this season. The girl I liked, Bree, was sent home. so im mad at tyra and about to talk about her hair. It was like a loop on the left and right and then a loop on the top that went over her forehead. She kind of looked like an Oompa Loompa, and then she looked even more Willy Wonka sittin next to Ms Jay.
But she still hot. She’s been hot since she’s played that butch role on Fresh Prince. She’s on my baby momma list.

In the news today was the first day a US Air Marshall had to shoot a passenger over a cited threat and the man was a US Citizen aboard American Airlines. According to the news he had made a statement that he was carrying a bomb aboard the plane. The poor guy was mentally unstable, so I will keep him and his family in prayers. I will also keep in prayers the people aboard the plane because I can only imagine how nerve wrecking that fiasco must have been at the airport. Also for those people in Iran whose apartment was hit by a military jet earlier this week. Also in the news, Sadaam sent the court to hell and decided he wasn’t going to show up.

WTF???.....

peace and love

im going going back back to Cali Cali

2005-12-06T22:06:00.000-05:00

I’m not going anywhere soon but I heard this (Biggie remix) im on my way home and it reminded me of CA. Today I was drivin home and my local radio station V-103 played some west coast music on the radio while I rode traffic. I began thinkin back about the time I spent there, for some 4 years. My bio mother lives in Riverside, CA but I didn’t last that long at her house so I ended up getting an apartment in Los Angeles. Cali was cool, the weather was great but I really needed a change. I know, another change, because I was getting into too much trouble over there. Anyhow it was a learning experience and it was interesting how just a few tracks can take you somewhere completely different in your mind.

Work was coo I can’t wait for Thursday, because I will be working half a day and then I will be off until Monday. I don’t know what im doing yet, a good friend of mine’s birthday is this Thursday, so we will probably go out for dinner or some’n like that. We're gonna call him Mr D for rite now He's a mess but we've been good friends for about 8 years, he's actually one of the people i stayed tite wit after i moved from CA and he ended up movin here last year. Now im about to get ready for bed. Im gonna wake up and go to work early so I can work the hour I owe my boss from yesterday.

Second Chance

2005-12-05T23:20:00.000-05:00

Can I get a second chance
To see you come back again
Introducing ME once more
Im not the same person anymore
now you can understand me that
Im free of hurt and dark and pain
Im free of the objection and im free of the chain
Don’t underestimate my purpose
When I surface
There’s more to me than meet and greet
And when can we hook up or where can we meet
Man, do you know me
Do you know that love left me and at one time I was lost
You asked who paid the cost? I was the boss and conversation was loss
I took her for granted and im ashamed of the loss

For these reasons I need you back and I need a second chance
Because its deserved, or so they say, but im confessin it today
Because I fell in love today, just like yesterday and before
Only fools you say?
Can you say the same today? Do something good today?
Make a difference today?
Do you get this message? I apologize today.
I look my lover in his eyes today and to him I say
Be all you can be today
Nothin’s ever promised tomorrow today
And im gonna be me today
what im sayin is that I need this chance
so I can move on today
Things haven’t been going my way
But yours
Its your way not the highway
Please settle this score
And give me some more, youre what I’m fighting for
Can I get a second chance?
I don’t want to be without and I don’t want to find
Your attention divide and your love unkind
You are the best thing that has happened in all of my life.

S.O. Monday

2005-12-05T18:20:00.000-05:00

Hello Monday

I’m supposed to be up at 7am this morning, so I can leave my house no later than 8am, so I can be at work by 9. So my day started kind of messed up because I wake up at 9:12! I don’t do this too often yall I just kind of forget I had to go to work LOL. I figure shit I’m already late so I made it a point to stop at ChikfilA and get my infamous morning sweet tea to start my day right. I got to work at about 10:30, so now I owe my boss an hour because I forfeited my lunch today. I had to make up some lie, about my keys being locked in the car. I get to my desk and I pray and ask the good Lord for forgiveness for that lie, and now I have to make sure my keys REALLY don’t get locked in my car in the future because that is how karma works.

Okay so yesterday was Sunday so I had to keep it clean but now that monday's here lets get some real live jive.

I have posted the term SO in the past and I just want to let yall be aware, it is short for significant other. My SO in this story is somewhat significant because we met on new years eve and had been exclusively seein each other ever since then. Okay so my SO has been stayin wit me the past couple of week until he find an apt (he was recently evicted), get his money right, etc etc right? I made this decision kinda hasty, I mean this guy really showed his A last summer, talking about he didn’t know what he wanted, he needed time and space, blah blah blah. I’m like OK, I chalked him up as a loss and returned to my player ways. Now my SO needs me and as the good man that I am, I let him in my home. I was really feelin this kat yall that’s why its been kind of messy havin this guy stay wit me. First off we are NOT in a relationship or commitment, so Im NOT supposed to mind if his cell phone goes off at odd hours in the evening. I guess im not supposed to mind the fact that he stays out for days in a row. I guess im not supposed to mind he may be seeing people other than me but the truth is that I do mind. The difference with the old soul and the new soul is that I can let this roll of the back real easy. I guess its just part of the new soul, the one who doesn’t put too much energy into this. I don’t want to give the guy a hard time either because I’m like, how would I want for someone to treat ME if it was I in his situation. For now I am just enjoying his company and continue to help him find something within his price range. I had planned my day accordingly Saturday, which was the day we were supposed to go look for apts, and I was stood up. How am i gonna get stood up and im helpin YOU out LOL I got a text at 2 talkin bout he lost track of time and needs to go to work (I was under the impression he was off). Saturday night he was supposed to come home after work, and I was stood up a second time, this one with no call OR no text. (he does this a lot-standing me up) A part of me knows he is not ready for a relationship, but im just doing what I feel is right. I’m also trying real hard not to worry about what he doing and concentrating more on me. We talked about this the other night, and what i got was im ready and hes not. Fine with me, its just that for a minute there I almost convinced myself that it was I who was NOT ready for a relationship, when indeed I am. Just not ready for a relationship with him or his situation. So, that’s just a little background on my SO, as you may be hearing about him from time to time.

Some say I’m being used but I don’t care. The man is very good to me and my needs in bed so who’s the one using who? The question today is how long do you wait before you have a live in relationship with your SO? Is there a time frame?